


Midnight and Dawn

by SparklingMasterpiece



Category: EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Blood Drinking, Bloodplay, Character Death, Demons, EXO Have Powers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, mentions of gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2019-08-21 03:05:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16568423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklingMasterpiece/pseuds/SparklingMasterpiece
Summary: Xiumin is the last remaining demon from the Exo clan, being hunted by the Suju clan. He figures he’s as good as dead when he runs into Heechul, but things take a surprising turn.





	1. You can call me monster

**Author's Note:**

> There are two major warnings for this fic:
> 
> 1\. All the members of EXO are dead except for Xiumin. I will not be writing any of the death scenes, but they will be mentioned from time to time, so if that bothers you then please don’t read.
> 
> 2\. Super Junior are evil in this. They are all demons and they behave accordingly. So if that bothers you, again, please don’t read.
> 
> This takes place in olden times, although exactly which time period I have no idea lol. Most of my point of reference comes from manga and I’ve only just started watching Scarlet Heart, so certain era details will probably be inaccurate. But hey, it’s a story about super powered gay demons that eat people, you shouldn’t be here for historical accuracy... ;)
> 
> (And once again sorry for leaving Heechul’s Zoo hanging. I am having major writer’s block on that one and it’s driving me crazy. >_<)

Run.

Keep running.

Run like your life depends on it.

Because really, it does.

Breathless, bloody, Xiumin ran faster than he ever had before, ducking between trees and crashing through bushes in his attempt to get away. 

They had finally found him. They had killed all of his brothers and now, he was the only one of his clan left. And from the looks of it, it might not be for too long either. He was fast and he knew he could outrun almost all of them, being younger and smaller. But the one who had taken Kai’s power was a bit of a problem. 

He shuddered at the memory. He had been there to witness that death and it hadn’t been pretty. Although he supposed none of them were, the way this other clan went about things. 

Speaking of...

He looked up as he sensed someone moving around him, up above. The only upside to his brothers’ powers being stolen was that now he could sense his attackers. The other clan never realized that when they inherited the powers they inherited a connection with him. One that thankfully only went one way. He knew exactly where they were whenever they came too close, even if they tried to hide. He could always feel the presence of the Exo powers within them. But they on the other hand, couldn’t sense him the same way. They could only track him the primitive way they knew how, by smell. 

He knew they could easily follow his blood trail at the moment, thanks to his wounded arm. So he had to get far enough away that they couldn’t sniff him out. But first he had to get rid of the pesky one trying to swoop down on him from above.

He began weaving faster in and out of the trees, trying to confuse his pursuer. He knew this one wasn’t too used to his new teleportation power, he hadn’t killed Kai that long ago, and he would have to be careful if he didn’t want to end up half stuck inside a tree or scattered in pieces above the clouds.

Xiumin quickly rolled to the right as a hand came down, trying to grab him. He snarled, giving a quick slash to the other demon with his claws, but the elder clan member quickly disappeared, having teleported somewhere else. So maybe he had more control than Xiumin thought. It didn’t matter though. He knew he could outrun him in the end. This clan may have been strong, but they were older and they lacked the stamina he had. He just had to keep moving, had to keep going, and tire them out.

It was a simple plan, but one that seemed to work in the end. As he increased his speed and took off towards the mountain in the distance he felt the presence of the others fading. Even the teleporting one seemed to be gradually receding. They were giving up. Finally, they were stopping this long chase. But Xiumin didn’t stop. He wanted to make sure they really couldn’t catch him. So he kept running for the hills, trying hard not to think about the events that had just happened hours before, trying not to see his last brother’s bloody face in his mind, the light dimming from his eyes, as one of those bastards devoured him.

It wasn’t always like this. At one point in their history they had begrudgingly co-existed. But times were tough now. Everyone wanted to become more powerful. Ever since the rumours of yokai drifting across the ocean divide, looking to claim their land, had started trickling in. And when the other clan found out how easy it was to transfer powers, how all they had to do to become better demons was to kill an Exo clan member, well that was it. After that none of them had been safe. 

They were all gone now. Every last one of them. Xiumin tried not think about it as he ran onwards, tried to ignore the growing dread and loneliness he felt deep inside now that his entire clan had been slaughtered. He didn’t have to time to wallow. He had to focus on self-preservation. 

And then he spotted it. A temple, nestled into the trees, halfway up the mountains. He could stop there for the night, fix up his wounds, and then figure out just what the hell he was going to do now. As he climbed up the mountain he started thinking about the story he would tell the monks inside, letting his golden feline eyes fade back to a more human-looking dark brown as he retracted his claws and let his fangs shrink down to blunted human teeth. 

He soon realized though that he didn’t need to do any of that. As he came closer he saw the crumbling main gates, saw the thick piles of damp leaves covering the front steps. The place was abandoned. He sniffed the air deeply and found not even a trace of human scent, just the thick metallic stench of his own blood filling the air. 

Oh well, just as good. Now no one would disturb him then. He climbed the half broken steps and ducked inside. As he passed through the doorway he thought he heard a whisper. He turned around, looking around the empty courtyard curiously. There was no one there. Another quick sniff confirmed that. He stood still for a moment though, his senses on alert. He tried hard to search ‘the other plane’, the realm of shadows that existed between their world and the underworld, but after a few futile moments he knew he just couldn’t do it. He had never been very good at accessing that space. That was Tao’s specialty. And he was gone now.

With a shrug he ventured further into the temple, trying to forget the slight unease he now felt. It was dark and cold inside, but there were thankfully still candles lying around. He lit a few in one of the main rooms, then took one in his hand as he disappeared down the hall. He found some old robes in the monk’s quarters and bandaged his arm with them. The wounds were not as bad as he thought (not like the ones he had inflicted on them) and he would recover quickly. 

With a weary sigh he walked over to the cupboard in the room, hoping he would find some bedding inside. But as he pulled open one of the drawers he froze suddenly. He had definitely heard someone this time. No, not just one person. It was two people, whispering to each other. He could just hear it every so slightly. He sniffed again quickly, confused. How could he not have sensed someone approaching? And just where were they now anyway? But he still couldn’t smell anything, human or otherwise. 

But as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his body vibrated he suddenly knew why. 

Because they weren’t really here. They had followed him through that dark space; unseen, unheard, un...felt. Until now.

Until it was too late.

Xiumin’s eyes widened in horror as he saw the dark other-worldly smoke suddenly filling the room, surrounding him. And he gave a strangled cry as a hand suddenly emerged from that smoke, grabbing him by the throat and shoving him against the wall. He struggled against it, trying to lash out at his attacker, but it was useless as the smoke wrapped around his arms and legs, hardening and turning into thick black ropes that held him in place. 

A face then appeared out from the smoke in front of him, beautiful, but ultimately terrifying.

‘Well, well, what do we have here?’ the stranger remarked and Xiumin felt his blood run cold.

Of all the demons it had to be him. The one with twice the strength of the others. Twice, because although he had just one body, there were two demons inside it. Two incredibly strong, incredibly smart, and incredibly ruthless demons.

Xiumin knew he was done for then. There was no getting out of this. The Exo clan would be extinct after tonight.

‘What are you doing all the way out here alone, Minnie?’ Heechul grinned, ‘Where are your brothers?’

‘Fuck you,’ Xiumin snarled, ‘You know where they are, you fucking bastard.’

‘Such bad language,’ Heechul tutted, ‘You look so cute, but you’ve really got a mouth on you, don’t you? Maybe I should rip it off.’

He trailed a finger down Xiumin’s cheek teasingly and Xiumin winced as Heechul extended a single claw, pressing it against the flesh of the younger demon just hard enough to draw a small drop of blood.

‘Go ahead and try,’ Xiumin replied, ‘I’ll do to you what I did to the rest of your clan.’

Heechul did not seem phased by his threats as he licked the small droplet of blood from his fingertip. 

‘Were you playing with my brothers?’ he asked, ‘Is that why you stink now?’

He pulled Xiumin’s hand up and sniffed at it. Xiumin instinctively let out his claws, his eyes burning gold again, but he could do nothing with the dark restraints holding him in place. And he was too weak now to use his power. 

‘Oh, what did you do to my poor Donghae?’ Heechul asked, having recognized the scent of the blood on Xiumin’s hands.

‘I’ll do the the same to you,’ Xiumin told him. 

Heechul just laughed at that and Xiumin grunted as the ropes tightened against him, squeezing his limbs roughly. One coiled up around his neck, mirroring Heechul’s earlier hold, and Xiumin began to pant now as it became increasingly harder to breathe. Heechul moved in close to him, his lips right against Xiumin’s ear.

‘I’m going to enjoy eating you,’ he whispered.

The dark rope pulled at Xiumin, pushing his head to the side and baring his throat to his attacker. Heechul licked a stripe along Xiumin’s neck and the younger demon struggled harder, even though he knew it was futile. He couldn’t escape, he was too weak. He was going to die here.

But was that really so bad? His whole clan was gone, he was now the last of his kind. Did it really matter if he was alive anymore if he was alone? He had been trying so hard for Kai, trying to protect his little brother as the only ones left. But Kai was gone now. So what was his reason for still fighting?

Xiumin let out a sad little sigh as he relaxed his body, going limp against the ropes that held him. His fierce golden eyes once again faded back to simple brown as he quietly gave in to his fate.

‘I hope you choke...’ he whispered and then he cried out as he felt Heechul’s fangs pierce his neck.

***

Fuck fuck fuck why do you taste so good shit fuck this is amazing fuck I feel like I’m going to come...

Great.

You don’t feel anything fuck it’s so good how can you be so blasé Minnie you taste like fucking heaven show some enthusiasm oh my God so good...

I’m going to die. I’m not exactly thrilled about it.

Fucking shit seriously how does this not affect you too it feels so good feels amazing God you taste so good...

~Heechul, what are you doing? Don’t take it all. Don’t kill him.~

Fuck off I’m going to drink till there’s nothing left it’s so fucking good ugh shit Minnie I am so fucking hard right now this is unbelievable...

~Don’t kill him.~

I don’t really care. Just do it.

~Don’t kill him.~

Tastes so fucking good...

~DON’T~

It doesn’t matter.

Oh it’s so cold feels so good I want your power give it up Minnie give it to me so cold so good let me have it just fucking die already

~If you don’t listen to me I’ll take over forever and you’ll never be a boy again. You’ll spend eternity as a girl. I’ll maim this body to make it happen.~

Fuck fine I’ll stop fucking bitch I was so close why do you want this thing alive anyway we can be stronger

~We’re strong enough. Let go.~

***

The first thing Xiumin registered was the booming sound in his ears. He opened his eyes, blinking blearily, the room slowly coming into focus, although not that much. He knew he was staring up at the shadowed ceiling of a temple, that was clear, but everything else was foggy. Why was he here? What had he been doing? Where was Kai?

After a moment he realized the booming sound was his own pulse thudding in his head. He groaned as he tried to sit up and failed, his head spinning from even just that slight movement. His neck ached so bad. He could hardly move it.

‘Stay still,’ a voice told him and he felt a sudden fear grip him. 

He didn’t like that voice. He whimpered as he tried again to sit up, but couldn’t.

‘I said stay still,’ the person told him, ‘You’re just going to hurt yourself.’

Suddenly the events of the night came flooding back to him. Kai was dead, the Suju clan had been chasing him, and he had been caught by Heechul. He had thought Heechul would kill him though, so why was he still alive? 

‘Why do you care if I hurt myself?’ Xiumin asked, his breathing ragged.

‘Because I’m the one that saved you,’ the voice replied.

And then the owner of the voice came into view, leaning over him. Xiumin couldn’t believe it. It was Heechul. What the hell kind of trick was this? Just moments before the older demon had been trying to kill Xiumin, had been ripping out his throat in fact, and now the bastard was claiming he had saved him. 

Heechul must have seen the confused look on Xiumin’s face because he carried on.

‘There’s two of us in here,’ he explained, ‘Only one wants to kill you.’

‘And the other?’

‘You’re pretty. It would be a waste just to eat you...’

‘So...you’re not Heechul?’

‘No. I’m Heemi.’

‘Fuck. What the fuck...’

And then Xiumin promptly passed out.

***

When he came to again, it was in a slightly more comfortable position, although his neck still ached, along with his wounded arm. He was lying in a bed this time, underneath warm covers. And there was something warm pressed against his back.

He inhaled sharply as he realized that something was a person, holding him from behind. Their arm was curled around him, fingers running lightly across his chest while their breath tickled his neck. Then he felt something else on his neck, warm and wet, and making him feel slightly tingly despite the painful ache he still had in his muscles. It felt kind of good, but at the same time was deeply unsettling. Actually, this whole situation was deeply unsettling.

Especially when he tried to move his arms and realized they were still bound.

Yep, definitely unsettling.

‘What...are you doing?’ Xiumin groggily asked the person licking his neck.

‘He was right. (Lick) You really do taste good...’

Xiumin cringed, trying to move away, but not succeeding in getting much more than an inch of space between him and the other demon.

‘Stop it...’ he said, hating how his voice sounded more like a whine than a threat, ‘It’s gross...’

‘Can’t. (Lick) You’re still injured. (Lick lick) I need to clean it.’

Xiumin snorted. ‘Sure. You’re doing this for my own benefit.’

‘(Lick) I am, actually. Our saliva helps to close up the wounds. (One more annoyingly long lick) Unlike your clan, ours doesn’t just kill when we eat a person. We usually keep them around.’

‘My clan stopped eating people years ago,’ Xiumin replied, ‘We only eat animals now.’

‘Ah, so you really have no idea then how to keep someone alive after you’ve drank from them then, do you? Unless you were keeping pets.’

Were. It stung to hear his clan spoken about in the past tense and it made the anger slightly rise in him.

‘Ooh! So cold...’

The demon holding onto him gave a little shudder before mouthing at his neck wound more vigorously making Xiumin instantly regret his little power flare-up. He wriggled his hands against the ropes that were holding him. They felt so strong. He knew he wouldn’t be able to use his power to get out of them. The scope of Heechul’s power was largely unknown to him, unlike the rest of his clan, but he could feel just from testing the bonds that the older demon was on a completely different level. 

Or demons, he should say. A sudden thought occurred to him. 

‘Who are you right now?’ he asked, a twinge of fear running through him.

‘Heemi,’ came the reply and he relaxed somewhat, ‘You wouldn’t be alive if it was Heechul. He’s still angry I made him go away.’

‘So are you going to stay in control forever then?’

‘I can’t. I’m sorry. But...I think I can convince him not to kill you. Now that he’s tasted you. When he’s calmed down a bit, he’ll see it’s better this way.’

Honestly, it didn’t really sound like a great alternative to him, but he supposed he had little choice in the matter. 

‘What is your plan for me then anyway?’ Xiumin asked, ‘Just a snack? A toy?’

There was a heavy silence and Xiumin couldn’t explain why he suddenly felt regret for his flippant tone. This other demon didn’t see him as anything other than a tasty plaything. So why should he care what it thought?

‘I don’t know...’ came the reply and then silence once again.

What the hell kind of answer was that.

The hand on his chest was still stroking him. Now Heemi had stopped licking at his neck and instead was resting his chin against Xiumin’s shoulder, nuzzled into him like a damned puppy or something. 

His chin, Xiumin wondered. Or hers? Heechul had said ‘bitch’ after all...

‘Heemi?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Are you a girl?’

It was blunt and to the point, but Xiumin figured tact didn’t really matter at the moment. Why he was even thinking about being tactful he had no idea. This was a demon whose other half wanted to murder him. But he had to admit, the half touching him now was so gentle it almost felt good. 

Almost.

‘Do you want me to be?’ came the reply to his question, whispered into his ear, and Xiumin shivered. That tone was too close to Heechul’s. ‘I can be pretty convincing you know...’

‘So you’re a boy?’ Xiumin pressed on, wanting a straight (ha) answer, ‘Not just that body, but your mind too?’

‘Yes. I just like more girl things than Heechul does. He hates when I dress us up or put ribbons in our hair. I just want to look pretty. What’s wrong with that?’

‘Nothing, I guess...’ Xiumin replied.

He wasn’t in much of a position to argue, not when he was tied up and being held by an older demon that could easily snap him in half if he (both hes) so wished.

‘Do you like boys?’ Heemi asked simply and Xiumin almost laughed at the forwardness.

This whole situation was so fucked up and here they were having a conversation about which gender they preferred like it actually mattered. They were both demons, of course it didn’t matter, like it did to humans for some reason, but still, it was like everyone always needed to know where they stood.

‘Not that it matters in the slightest, but yes, I do,’ he replied and he could have sworn he felt Heemi grinning against his neck.

‘That’s good. But why doesn’t it matter though?’ Heemi asked.

Xiumin shifted uncomfortably as he felt the other demon’s hand on his chest moving downwards slightly, stroking across his stomach now. Where exactly was this going?

‘It doesn’t matter because I’ll most likely be dead in a few days anyway,’ he replied flatly, squirming to get away from that wandering hand.

‘Mmm, maybe,’ Heemi mused, ‘Heechul is pretty stubborn. But...that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun for now...’

The hand was now playing with the waistband of his pants and if Xiumin had been somewhat uncomfortable before he was definitely uncomfortable now. He knew where this was going. And he didn’t want it to go there. Not after everything that had happened already.

Not after...

The hand dipped slightly lower and Xiumin’s body jerked suddenly as he tried to get away from it, but was held by the ropes. His eyes burned gold and he couldn’t help the low growl that came from his throat as his fangs instinctively popped out. No matter what his own feelings of nihilism and self-destruction were at the moment, he couldn’t erase the fact that this demon was a member of the other clan, the clan that had murdered all his brothers. He would not be intimate with it.

The hand wisely retracted from his pants and he felt Heemi pull away from him. A moment later he was rolled into his back, the ropes pulling him into the position. He growled again as Heemi straddled him, but it was less intimidating than he had hoped and sounded more like a desperate plea. He couldn’t help it that the face staring at him evoked a fear reaction. Even if it was a different person inside at the moment it still looked like Heechul. 

‘Does this body bother you?’ Heemi asked, head cocked to the side as he studied Xiumin curiously.

‘No.’

Lies. And Heemi could tell that right away.

‘Your scent says otherwise. You’re scared of me. Or him...’

‘Well you have an unfair advantage at the moment,’ Xiumin replied, trying to skirt around the issue, ‘I’m tied up and injured.’

His eyes widened as he felt Heemi’s hips roll against him, grinding down slightly as he watched Xiumin with interest.

‘Tell me,’ he said, ‘Are you more afraid that we’ll kill you...or that I’ll...’

His hands went towards Xiumin’s pants again and Xiumin couldn’t help the panicked little whine that escaped him, like a dog with its tail between its legs.

‘No! Don’t...’ he whimpered and in a moment his body felt cold all over as his power surged inside him and he pulled hard against the ropes holding him, trying desperately to get away.

Heemi slid off of him quickly, shivering slightly, and then he was right next to Xiumin’s face. Xiumin felt a ripple of fear go through him, until he realized that Heemi was just stroking his face and murmuring comforting words.

‘Shh shh,’ he was saying, ‘It’s alright, Xiu, I won’t do that to you. Oh, don’t struggle so much, you’re going to hurt yourself. Relax, I won’t do that. It’s no fun if you don’t want it anyway...’

It took Xiumin a moment to calm down and for his body temperature to return to normal. Heemi brushed away the ice crystals that had formed on his hands and Xiumin watched in awe as tiny wisps of black smoke followed after the older demon’s touch, warming his skin. Again, he wasn’t sure what exactly Heemi and Heechul’s power was, what it was comprised of exactly, or the magnitude of things it could do. But he never thought this darkness would be used to comfort him.

He was so confused. They weren’t going to kill him. They thankfully weren’t going to fuck him. What was his purpose then? Just to drink from every now and then? His blood couldn’t have been that good.

‘It’s not just your blood,’ Heemi said and Xiumin blanched.

They could read minds too? Oh, that was not good. That was really not good.

‘Relax, it’s not all the time. But you’re weak now and despite what you’re wanting to make me think, also very, very scared, so it’s easier to get into your head.’

‘You...this is...I can’t...’

He struggled to come up with a coherent sentence, but his brain felt so foggy now. Heemi stroked his cheek softly and against his better judgement Xiumin felt himself leaning into the touch. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He didn’t want to deal with this right now. He just wanted to go back to sleep.

‘It’s probably for the best,’ Heemi mused, ‘You’ll be easier to transport if you’re asleep.’

‘Transport?’

‘You don’t think we’re gonna live in this place, do you?’

‘Live?’

Heemi laughed and then Xiumin felt a little kiss against his lips. Under usual circumstances that would’ve earned a growl from him and fangs coming out, but he was too weak now to give much of a reaction except a tiny squeak of surprise.

‘You’re cute, Xiu...’ Heemi said and it almost sounded as if there was affection in his voice, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll like our house. Much better than this place.’

There was another kiss and Xiumin gave a displeased noise as Heemi cupped his face, squishing his cheeks slightly like he was a small child. 

‘So cute’ were the last words he heard before he passed out again.

Fuck. What the hell had he gotten himself into?


	2. Stop provoking me, I don’t even know what I’ll do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heechul is forced to take care of Xiumin, but does it in his own style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I wasn’t going to write the death scenes, but there will be kind of flashbacks, so be prepared for that. 
> 
> Also, if you’re a vegetarian you probably shouldn’t read this chapter.

‘Lu! Come on!’

Xiumin yelled at his younger brother as he practically dragged him along. But he could do nothing as Luhan fell to his knees, unable to continue.

There was blood everywhere. So much blood. It was all he could see, all he could smell. Luhan’s blood. All over his face, all over the ground. Flowing steadily from the wound in his side he was desperately trying to hold closed.

‘H-hyung...go...’ Luhan croaked out, but Xiumin refused, grabbing him by the collar and trying to pull him back up to his feet.

‘I’m not leaving you.’

‘You have to... The other one...he’s...’

Xiumin gasped as he felt Chanyeol’s power drawing nearer, coming towards them at an alarming rate. Except it wasn’t Chanyeol that had it anymore. Chanyeol was gone. Which meant it was one of the Suju clan catching up to them.

‘H-he killed Yifan...’ Luhan said, ‘He’s...got two now.. Go, Xiu... Go!’

Xiumin knew he should listen. If the Suju clan member caught up to them they would both be dead. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to leave Luhan behind. There were fewer and fewer of them left. It was important to stick together, now more than ever.

‘Hannie...’ Xiumin whispered, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

‘Find Kai...’ Luhan breathed, hunched over in pain, ‘P...protect...Kai...’

Xiumin reached out to comfort him, running a hand softly through his hair. But suddenly he was pushed back, shoved aside so roughly that it made his head spin as he collided with the hard ground. He picked himself up quickly, groaning from the sudden impact, fangs out and ready, eyes flashing. It was just in time to see one of the Suju clan standing over Luhan.

It was Ryeowook. Of course, he was the smallest and the fastest out of the others. He had caught up to them much quicker than Siwon, even with Yifan’s added power. Xiumin watched in horror as Ryeowook pinned the wounded Luhan down, the older demon shuddering in pleasure at the smell of all the blood around him. 

‘No!’ Xiumin screamed, but it was too late.

***

Xiumin’s eyes snapped open as he woke up from his nightmare with a gasp. No, it wasn’t exactly a nightmare, was it. Just a memory, replaying in his sleeping brain. He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. A tear that soon froze into ice and rolled off his face. 

He felt so cold all over. It irritated him to no end. He hated when he didn’t have control over his power. Normally it stayed inside him, contained, just resting, or, waiting? He didn’t know how to describe it exactly. But for the most part it didn’t bother him. It was just a natural part of his body, like breathing. But when he was upset it seemed to have a will of its own. It could lash out at others or even himself. At the very least it was just uncomfortable, like now, but there had been a couple times when it had felt like it almost killed him. The times his brothers were taken from him...

He tried to shake the memories from his head. He shouldn’t be thinking of that now. He had bigger problems. Like where was he? And which demon was it going to be that greeted him now that he was awake?

He sat up, surveying his surroundings. He was in a large bed, a very comfortable one at that, in a room so nice that it looked like it belonged to nobility. So this was how the Suju clan lived? It was a far cry from the simple houses the Exo clan lived in.

Had lived in. 

Past tense.

He frowned as he looked down at his wrists. They were still bound together by black ropes, but he was no longer tied to anything. That was interesting. Did that mean he could move freely around this place? 

Not wasting any time, he got out of the bed and walked carefully towards the door. He noticed he wasn’t wearing any shoes anymore, which was kind of annoying, but he could fix that once he got out of here. 

The rest of his thoughts on escape were cut short though as the door he had been meaning to try and open suddenly disappeared. Xiumin stopped, confused, as he stared at what was now just a wall in front of him. What just happened? He felt around the wall, looking for any hidden edges, but there was nothing. It was as if the door never existed at all. He leaned in close, trying to get a better assessment, and that’s when he saw it, just barely. There was a thin veil of black smoke across the wall, one that couldn’t be seen with the naked eye. But if he pushed himself further into that other world, if he concentrated hard enough, he could see the invisible barrier blocking his way.

Of course, leaving the room would never be so simple. Heemi had only left him untied because the exit was blocked. 

With an annoyed puff of air, Xiumin turned around and headed back to the bed. He sat down and looked around, wondering what exactly he was supposed to do. He experimentally tried using his power on the rope around his wrists, but it did nothing except make him feel even colder. No matter how hard he tried, the dark matter seemed unaffected by his power, even when his own skin was forming ice crystals.

He lay back down on the bed, panting from the exertion. He still wasn’t up to full strength and using his power like that seemed to have depleted all his energy. He gingerly touched at his neck where Heechul had bit him. The wound still hurt, but it seemed to have closed up and was healing well. Guess Heemi’s tongue had done a good job after all. 

He cringed at the memory. 

And then suddenly the demon in question was standing there in his room. Xiumin was startled, having not even heard him enter. He quickly sat up in the bed even though his head still felt kind of dizzy.

He wasn’t sure at first which one of them was in control of the body. But it didn’t take long to figure out as the demon walked over to the bed, dropped a bag onto the floor and simply said ‘Eat’. As Xiumin looked into his eyes, eyes that were glaring at him, he realized it was Heechul. 

The next thing he realized was that the bag on the ground was moving and a pathetic little bleating noise was coming from inside it. 

‘He said you don’t eat humans so I brought you this.’

Xiumin leaned over the side of the bed warily and opened the the bag. Staring back at him was a baby deer making weak cries as it shook with fear. Xiumin pulled the bag back farther and could now see that the animals’s legs were twisted at odd angles, leaving them useless. 

He broke its legs, he thought. He broke the damn thing’s legs. 

Looking down at the little fawn Xiumin had never seen such a sad sight. He tried to control the anger simmering inside him. Yes, they were demons, yes, the Exo clan had ate people in the past, but he had always done it quickly. He didn’t like to see creatures suffer. Some might have called him weak for that, but he didn’t care. He had his morals.

‘You expect me to eat this?’ he asked, not able to keep the contempt out of his voice.

Heechul cocked his head to the side. ‘Yes, why not?’

Xiumin shook his head. ‘How can you be so...’

He stopped short of what he wanted to say, figuring Heechul would only think being called cruel was a compliment. 

‘It’s not a person, so what’s the problem?’ Heechul asked, seeming impatient. 

‘I’m not eating it,’ Xiumin said simply.

He turned away in defiance, trying to ignore the desperate cries coming from the wounded animal lying on the floor.

‘I went out and caught it for you,’ Heechul said, ‘So eat it.’

His tone, and his aura of...whatever the hell kind of power he had, were involuntarily sparking Xiumin’s fear, but the younger demon still refused to give in. What did he have to lose? He would most likely be killed soon anyway, despite Heemi’s reassurances. 

‘No,’ Xiumin replied, still looking away.

‘Eat it. Now,’ Heechul said and Xiumin felt a shudder run down his spine as the commanding voice seemed like it was right inside his head.

Heechul was staring him down, that barely visible smoke swirling around the older demon aggressively. He was obviously annoyed, but Xiumin didn’t care. If Heechul snapped and killed him, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. No, the worst was already over. Now that Kai was gone Xiumin didn’t really care what happened to him.

He didn’t bother responding to the angry demon glowering at him. The cries of the fawn were getting louder and more insistent and he couldn’t stand hearing it any longer. Without looking he reached down and quickly snapped the little deer’s neck, putting it out of its misery. The animal had already had its legs mangled and he didn’t want it to suffer further at Heechul’s hands.

‘It’s dead now,’ Xiumin said flatly, ‘I don’t eat dead things.’

In an instant he was pushed backwards and pinned to the bed by strong hands. He grunted as pain shot up his wounded arm and he tried to push Heechul off him, but it was futile. The other demon was simply too strong. He felt chills as Heechul’s face came very close to his, staring into Xiumin’s eyes as he growled low in his throat. Even though they were close enough to kiss Xiumin knew there was no intimacy behind the move. The other demon was only showing his dominance.

‘You’re a pain the ass, you know that?’ Heechul snarled. 

Xiumin tilted his head to the side, baring his neck in an act of submission. Or rather, an act of self-destruction. He was tired, he didn’t want to go through all this anymore. He just wanted it to be over.

‘Then just get rid of me,’ he said.

He saw Heechul’s gaze flit down towards his neck, saw the way the other demon swallowed hard, trying to control himself in the midst of this temptation. This was what Heechul had wanted to do in the first place before Heemi stopped him. He had gone crazy for Xiumin’s blood before. And now it was right in front of him, being offered without a fight.

Xiumin shut his eyes tight, trying not to let any tears fall as Heechul moved towards his neck. He wasn’t crying because he was about to die. He didn’t fear death. But he was thinking about his brothers. How soon he’d be with them.

Heechul’s growling continued as he sniffed at Xiumin’s neck, taking in the delicious scent. His lips just barely grazed the skin as they followed along a vein. He was taking his time, seemingly torn on whether or not he should give in and take a bite.

‘Just do it...’ Xiumin whispered.

An icy tear rolled off his cheek as he thought about Luhan. The way his little brother had always smiled so sweetly at him, while calling him that strange word from another land, that endearing nickname, ‘baozi’. 

And then Ryeowook ripped his throat out.

Heechul made a little noise of displeasure as he pulled back from Xiumin’s neck. He quickly sat up and sighed as he got off the younger demon.

‘Yes, you really are a pain in the ass,’ he muttered, ‘Both of you.’

Xiumin was about to sit up, but he didn’t have to as his arms were suddenly pulled up for him. The black rope that was still around his wrists hauled him up seemingly of its own accord and pulled him into a kneeling position on the bed. His arms were now straight above his head, the rope floating up towards the ceiling and wrapping around a beam before it hardened, trapping him in place. Xiumin wriggled his shoulders back and forth, trying to free his arms, but quickly realized that once again it was no use. No matter what he did he could never seem to get away from Heechul’s power.

‘What are you doing?’ Xiumin asked. He had been trying to sound indifferent, but he couldn’t help the fear that crept into his voice. ‘Just kill me already.’

‘You’d like that wouldn’t you?’ Heechul said, ‘But Heemi really wouldn’t. And I don’t want to have to listen to him whine and complain for the next hundred years inside my head. So, you will. fucking. eat.’

He picked the deer up off the floor in one hand and then Xiumin nearly had a heart attack when he suddenly felt him at his back in a flash. Heechul was pressed right up against him, one arm holding Xiumin around the waist, the other shoving the dead deer into his face.

‘What the fuck are you doing?!’ Xiumin exclaimed, trying to back up, but having nowhere to go.

‘It’s still warm,’ Heechul said, ‘You can smell it, can’t you? Its blood is still warm.’

He was right, Xiumin could smell the blood inside its little body, however faint it was. And he was really hungry, having hardly eaten anything the last few days. It was incredibly tempting now that he thought about it. He knew he would feel much better if he just fed. His head would stop hurting and his arm would heal completely and he would probably have his power better under control. 

But a part of him hated the thought of taking his nourishment from such a tiny, pathetic little creature. And he hated even more to do it in front of Heechul. Feeding was a somewhat intimate process. He didn’t even like to do it in front of his brothers. He hated the way he got after doing it, so wild and almost feral, his inner demon taking over. He didn’t want that to happen now.

But...he was so hungry.

‘Come on Minnie,’ Heechul coaxed, his lips pressed against Xiumin’s ear, ‘I know you want to. Don’t pretend otherwise...’

If he had thought it would convince Xiumin it had the exact opposite effect, Heechul’s taunting voice only serving to make him more defiant.

‘Fuck you...’ he murmured, hating how breathy it sounded. 

He had wanted to be intimidating, but he couldn’t help it that his panting made it sound somewhat erotic instead.

‘Hmm, not yet...’ Heechul mused and Xiumin had no time to be horrified by that response as his senses were suddenly overwhelmed by the delicious smell of blood.

Heechul had cut the deer’s throat with one of his claws. Xiumin was incredibly thankful the thing had been dead since if it had been alive its blood would be all over his face now. Instead it only seeped out slugglishly from the wound.

Xiumin squirmed as he felt Heechul’s hand stroking his side, the older demon’s strong arm holding him against his body and giving Xiumin nowhere to run. And he was caught in a mixture of horror and intense hunger when Heechul’s other hand scooped up some of the blood and brought it towards his face. 

‘Come on Minnie,’ Heechul said, ‘You have to eat.’

He shoved his fingers roughly into Xiumin’s mouth and as much as Xiumin wanted to resist, he couldn’t do it any longer. Not when the blood was right on his tongue. He hadn’t realized he had been so immensely fucking hungry until now and he eagerly sucked on Heechul’s fingers, hating himself for doing it but not being able to stop. He wanted more, he needed more, and the demon part of him no longer cared how he got it.

He just needed it.

He vaguely heard Heechul laugh behind him as the older demon swiped more blood onto his fingers and brought them back to Xiumin’s mouth again, hand feeding him like a baby animal. Xiumin messily licked at the fingers, small growls of satisfaction escaping from him as he felt himself becoming worked up into a frenzy. He could feel Heechul still rubbing his side with his other hand, but now it didn’t bother him anymore. It felt good being pet while he fed. Even the patronizing murmurs of ‘good boy, good boy’ from Heechul didn’t annoy him. In his state of mind now he enjoyed the praise. 

Everything seemed so much simpler when he fed. Just eat and feel and eat and blood blood blood so good eat until it’s gone drain it dry feels so good need more need more need more need more more more more

‘More...’ Xiumin gasped when he realized the fingers weren’t coming to his mouth. 

‘Minnie, it’s done,’ Heechul told him, ‘There is no more.’

‘More!’ Xiumin growled.

He could feel some of the blood dripping from his lips and his tongue darted out involuntarily as he desperately tried to lick at the last remnants on his chin. He was growling and panting, sounding like a rabid animal, but he didn’t care. He just wanted more.

‘There’s no more blood,’ Heechul told him, ‘You drained it’.

He shook the limp animal in front of Xiumin, showing off the impressive amount of claw marks all over its body. Xiumin hadn’t remembered eating that much. The time had passed so quickly, it had all been a blur. 

And now he was so riled up, his eyes burning and his fangs bared. He wouldn’t be satisfied with such a tiny meal.

‘Give me the rest,’ Xiumin snarled

He tried to move closer towards the carcass, but Heechul pulled it back.

‘There’s only guts now,’ Heechul tried to reason.

‘I want its guts!’ Xiumin roared, the sound of his voice almost scaring him.

It didn’t sound like his own. It sounded like a monster. That thought seemed to shake him out of it. Slowly, he felt his own mind returning to him, his thinking becoming more coherent and less feral. He was still a bit hungry, but it was becoming more bearable now. 

‘You’re gross,’ Heechul laughed, ‘No wonder you guys weren’t able to keep humans alive after feeding. I bet you ate every last part of them. Even the eyeballs...’

Luhan’s face flashed before him again. His face as Ryeowook tore into him. And then Xiumin remembered how he had found Chen. What was left of him...

No...

Suddenly he felt disgusted with himself. What had he done? How could he have acted like that?

‘You’re no better,’ Xiumin muttered, ‘You and your sick fuck brothers. I’ve seen what you do.’

Heechul snorted. Then he patted Xiumin’s cheek mockingly. ‘They only do that to your clan,’ he whispered, ‘Guess you guys are special.’ He tossed the deer onto the floor, then pulled away from Xiumin. ‘Besides, I’ve never killed one of you...yet. So don’t put me together with them.’

He rose from the bed and shoved the deer back into the bag before walking to the door.

‘Hey!’ Xiumin called after him, ‘You’re just going to leave me like this?’

His arms were still held above his head and there was blood all over his face and chest. He could feel it drying there, becoming sticky, and he knew it would start to stink soon.

Heechul turned back to face him. But he didn’t come any closer.

‘Yeah, pretty much,’ he said.

He went to turn back around, but then he stopped. He grimaced and rubbed at his forehead and Xiumin could have sworn he heard someone else talking. Heechul was quiet for a moment as he simply stood there, seemingly staring off into space, but Xiumin knew better. Heechul wasn’t zoning out, he was most likely having a conversation with Heemi.

The atmosphere seemed charged around him for a moment, as if something was about to happen, but then it was still again. Heechul gave a growl of frustration and then Xiumin watched as the older demon stomped out the door of the room and slammed it behind him. 

Now Xiumin was alone. Alone, arms hanging from the ceiling, covered in blood, and still not fully sated. And all he could think about was his dead brothers. He tugged at the rope holding him one more time, just for good measure, but he knew it wasn’t going to budge. 

Why couldn’t he have just killed me, he thought.

His head dropped down as he felt a sudden overwhelming emptiness take over him. He had been on a high while he had been feeding and now it was time for the comedown.

I don’t want to be alone, he thought. And he couldn’t help it as he cried pitifully.

I don’t want to be alone...


	3. I get a feeling all at once, in one bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time it’s Heemi’s turn to feed Xiumin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to update!

Xiumin wasn’t left crying for long. After a few minutes the door opened again and Heechul reappeared. Xiumin sniffled, trying to compose himself before the other demon saw, not wanting to show weakness in front of him. But of course his stupid power betrayed him instead of helping, freezing the tears against his cheeks, like a permanent reminder of how pathetic he was for a demon.

But as Heechul approached, he realized it wasn’t Heechul at all. As soon as the older demon spoke, Xiumin could tell. The tone was completely different.

‘Oh Xiu, I’m sorry,’ Heemi said, fretting over him, ‘If I had known he was going to do it like that I never would have let him feed you.’

He was holding a wet cloth and he used it to wipe the blood from Xiumin’s mouth and neck, cleaning him gently as if he was a child that had spilled his dinner and not a centuries old demon that ate people. (Well, used to anyway)

‘There, that’s better,’ Heemi said as he finished cleaning him up. Then he looked into Xiumin’s eyes and gasped, ‘He made you cry? Ugh, that bastard, seriously...’

He used his thumbs to try to wipe away the tears, but seemed puzzled for a moment when his fingers simply glided across them. The water had unfortunately frozen to Xiumin’s chilled skin and couldn’t be so easily removed. Heemi was not deterred though. He took Xiumin’s face in his hands and used his dark power to melt the frozen tears away. 

Xiumin felt a warmth against his face where Heemi was lightly pressing his fingers. He had to admit, it felt nice compared to always being cold. But he didn’t like the way the other demon was now gazing into his eyes, with a look he couldn’t quite decipher. Xiumin couldn’t help it as a soft growl escaped him and he looked away, not wanting to keep up this uncomfortable eye contact any longer. 

‘You are so pretty...’ Heemi murmured and then thankfully he took his hands away. ‘I really am sorry for what he did, you know,’ he continued, ‘He shouldn’t have fed you like that. And you’re not even full, are you? You’re still hungry.’

‘It’s fine...’ Xiumin muttered, but Heemi shook his head.

‘No, you should have a proper meal. Then you’ll feel better.’

He ran his fingers through Xiumin’s hair in an almost motherly way and Xiumin found himself flinching only slightly before relaxing. It was much easier to accept Heemi’s fondness for him when he didn’t have to look at his face. It might have even been nice being pet like this, except for the fact that he was still bound by a rope tied to the ceiling and essentially being held hostage in this place. But then why was he finding himself leaning in to that touch once again? He should have been fighting against it. Instead it almost made him want to purr.

No. Don’t be fooled by your simple need for affection right now. He’s still a member of their clan. He’s still a brother to a bunch of murderers. 

‘Really, I’m fine,’ Xiumin said, leaning away from the fingers smoothing back the mussed hair from his forehead, ‘It was enough.’

‘Liar,’ Heemi said, grinning slightly, ‘Are you forgetting I can still read your thoughts right now?’

Oh shit. Fuck. Did he hear all that? Did he know that Xiumin was almost enjoying being taken care of by him simply because he was so damn lonely now and

Fucking hell, stop thinking about it!

‘If you eat some more you’ll get your strength back,’ Heemi said, thankfully ignoring Xiumin’s inner crisis, ‘Then I won’t be able to hear your thoughts so loudly. You want that, don’t you?’

Yes. That would be good.

‘Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes. In the meantime...’

Heemi waved his hand towards the rope and it dissolved into smoke before disappearing. Xiumin put his arms down, feeling the slight ache in his muscles. His wrists were still bound together he noticed, but at least he could sit and wait in a more comfortable position now.

‘Don’t worry,’ Heemi said, ‘I’ll take very good care of you. I won’t let that bastard do anything like that again.’

He patted Xiumin’s cheek and then he got up and disappeared out the door.

***

‘No.’

Xiumin immediately refused when he saw what Heemi had brought him. The older demon wasn’t alone when he re-entered the room. Instead he was accompanied by a young man, dressed in an elegant hanbok. There was a black collar around the man’s neck and Xiumin could tell it was made out of the same dark matter as the ones around his wrist.

‘I told you, I don’t eat humans,’ Xiumin said.

He was feeling agitated just by the presence of a human when he was still hungry and vulnerable like this and he felt himself already taking a defensive stance from his spot on the bed. 

‘It’s okay,’ Heemi said, ‘Just relax. You’re not going to kill him. You’re just going to drink a little bit to help you out. Kyunghoon is our pet, he’s used to this.’

Xiumin shook his head. 

‘No, I don’t want to. I’m fine anyway.’

‘Not, you’re not. You’re a mess. You go from scared to angry to sad in the blink of an eye. Not to mention you have no control over your power and it’s constantly working against you.’

Heemi and the man continued to come forward, forcing Xiumin to back up against the wall as he growled in warning.

‘I don’t. want. to,’ Xiumin said.

He could feel his fangs trying to emerge though, despite his refusal. Even if his mind don’t want it, his body did. Of course he was still hungry. And even though he had been cleaned off a bit there was still splatters of blood on his clothes and the bed and the lingering smell was making it harder to think clearly. 

‘Do you want me to tie you up again?’ Heemi asked and it took Xiumin a moment to realize that it was a genuine question and not a threat. ‘If you’re worried about losing control I can tie you to the ceiling again. But I really don’t think it’s necessary. Like I said, he’s our pet. I would never let anyone kill him.’

Xiumin looked the human up and down. 

‘And what does he think about this?’ Xiumin asked, ‘Does he want to do this? Or does he have a choice?’

Heemi just smiled as he leaned against the other man.

‘Kyunghoon-ah, why don’t you tell him? How you like being our pet. How you’d rather be with us, letting us drink from you, than living alone.’

The young man smiled shyly and looked away and Xiumin had the sudden image of a groom on his wedding day, asked to say what he likes about his new bride. 

‘I don’t mind being drank from,’ Kyunghoon said, ‘If it’s for Heechul. And if he, they, want me to feed you too I’m happy to do it.’

‘Just for Heechul?’ Heemi asked, ‘What about me?’

‘I-I like you too...’ the young man stuttered, ‘I didn’t mean...I mean you’re both the same person so I...’

Heemi giggled as he patted Kyunghoon’s head.

‘I know what you mean,’ he said, ‘But you’re so cute when you’re flustered. Look at your ears, already turning red...’

Kyunghoon just shook his head, still smiling fondly despite his embarrassment. Xiumin watched the two of them curiously. They were acting like some married couple instead of a demon and his pet. He had always assumed the Suju clan were needlessly cruel, the way they so quickly went after the EXOs, slaughtering them with no mercy. But here was a Suju clan member doting on a human, like he was the most precious thing in the world.

Kind of like how he treats you, Xiumin noted.

‘Xiu, really it’s okay,’ Heemi reassured him, ‘I won’t let anything happen. You just take some from his wrist. Don’t worry, you can’t drain him from that point.’

Heemi guided Kyunghoon forward, pushing him towards Xiumin who was still crouching like a pissed off cat on the bed. Kyunghoon pushed up the sleeve of his hanbok and held his arm out towards Xiumin. He didn’t look scared at all as he offered himself up. He didn’t smell scared either. He must have really trusted Heemi to look after him. Xiumin wondered if he should trust the other demon as well.

‘Come on...’ Heemi said softly, ‘It’s okay, you can do it.’

Tentatively Xiumin leaned forward, sniffing at the human in front of him. He could smell the blood coursing through Kyunghoon’s veins and it made his fangs emerge fully. God, he smelled good. Was that why Heechul kept him around? Did his blood taste as delicious as it smelled? 

Kyunghoon moved forward a little bit more, still holding that pale, delicious looking wrist out. Xiumin took a deep breath and whined in satisfaction. This human smelled so good. He wanted a taste. No, more than a taste. He wanted it all. He wanted to drink every last drop and then eat up all the rest until there was nothing but bones.

‘Hold me...’ Xiumin mumbled, his voice shaky.

His eyes were shining gold now, his fangs bared as he stared intently at the arm held out in front of him, at the veins running along it. He was shaking with the effort to control himself, a constant growl in the back of his throat.

‘Please...’ he breathed, ‘Hold me back...’

And the moment he felt Heemi wrap his arms around him from behind he all but dove forward, grabbing the human by the wrist and roughly sinking his teeth into the flesh. He vaguely heard Kyunghoon cry out at the painful bite. He was sure Heechul and Heemi did it much more gently than he did, but at that moment he didn’t care.

Good good good good tasty eat it tear it rip it to pieces

~Stop that~

Xiumin felt a hand against his throat, closing slightly, just rough enough to slow his frenzy, but not enough to stop it.

~Control yourself~

Can’t can’t too good want more let me go need to bite need to tear eat all of it

The hand closed tighter, making it hard to breathe, and Xiumin coughed, blood spattering against his lips as he pulled away slightly. He made a whimpering noise, as his tongue darted out, trying to lick up what was still flowing from Kyunghoon’s wound.

I told you, I didn’t want to. I can’t do it. I’ll kill him.

~And I told you that you can control it. So do it. You can feed without giving in to that feral urge. Just ride the line.~

The hand relaxed slightly, but was still holding onto him. He could hear Heemi speaking out loud now, probably reassuring Kyunghoon, but all Xiumin could focus on was the blood spilled everywhere. And how he wanted more. He was sorry he had hurt the human, but he needed more.

Please. Come back. Give it back. Please...

He was straining forward against Heemi’s hand on his throat, trying to get back at that wrist.

~Slowly~

Xiumin summoned all his strength to still his vibrating body, to control the animal inside of him. When Heemi deemed him ready Kyunghoon brought his severely torn, bloody wrist back up to Xiumin’s mouth.

As delicately as he could Xiumin sunk his teeth into the ripped flesh and began to drink. He could feel the beast inside of him stirring, wanting to go further, wanting to rip Kyunghoon’s arm right off, but he fought against it. Instead of getting wrapped up in the taste and the smell of the blood he focused on Heemi’s hand on him, warm and sort of...comforting. He didn’t know if that was the right word and he wasn’t in much of a state to think about it. But somehow he felt more grounded when he thought about that touch, as if the elder demon was his lifeline back to normal thinking. 

~Me, normal? Now that’s a scary thought~

Don’t. (good tasty kill eat) Don’t get into my head.

~It’s really hard not to. Your thoughts are begging me to come inside.~

He had an unpleasant mental picture at that wording and he heard Heemi chuckle, the voice still in his head and not aloud.

~That’s not what I meant. But it’s not a bad picture...~

No. (eat blood so good) Don’t even joke. It’s disgusting.

He shivered, feeling his body frosting over, but there was a warmth radiating from the points where Heemi was touching him. 

~Why do you always go so cold when I-oh. Oh...~

No! Get out!

It was just a quick flash, a flicker of a repressed memory, but it was enough to break Xiumin out of his feeding and also thankfully out of his mind link with Heemi.

Xiumin pulled away from Kyunghoon’s wrist, blood spilling from his lips and staining his clothes and the bed even more than they already were. Kyunghoon sat back onto the floor in a slump, holding his mangled arm and cringing with the pain.

‘I-I had enough...’ Xiumin stuttered, ‘I’m full now. You can take him away.’

How much had he seen? He much had Xiumin given away? He couldn’t let him see those things. He couldn’t give him that emotional leverage over him. 

Heemi’s hand released his throat, but the arm around his chest didn’t let go right away. Then Xiumin felt the other demon lean his head against his shoulder. 

‘Xiu...’ Heemi said and for once his voice sounded serious.

Xiumin liked this tone even less than when Heemi was being playful.

No, he thought. Don’t make me get into that now. It’s bad enough thinking about my brother’s deaths. Don’t make me relive old pain too.

Heemi lifted his head from his shoulder and stood up. Xiumin couldn’t look at him. He didn’t want to see the expression on the other’s face. And he wasn’t even sure which emotion he was more afraid to find staring back at him. 

But Heemi had other plans as he gently touched under Xiumin’s chin, tilting the younger’s face to look up at him. For a moment their eyes met and Xiumin was surprised to see anger of all of things. Then the hand under his chin pulled back and slapped him hard across the face. 

He was sent reeling from the force of it, seeing stars in front of his eyes as his brain felt like it was literally rattling inside of his skull. He was sure if he was a human his head would’ve been taken clean off.

‘What the FUCK did you do to my pet?!’ the elder demon yelled, before rushing over to Kyunghoon, ‘Look at this! You chewed him up like a damned dog! What the fuck is wrong with you, Minnie?’

‘Heechul...’ Kyunghoon whined, holding his wounded arm to his chest, ‘Ah, it really hurts...’

‘I know, Kyunghoonie, I’m sorry,’ Heechul said, ‘I don’t know why Heemi has such a fascination with this stupid thing. Come here, I’ll fix you up...’

Xiumin gingerly touched his bound hands to his face, using his own power to ice his swelling jaw as he watched Heechul help Kyunghoon to his feet. The other demon looked back at him, shaking his head.

‘This is why I brought you that deer,’ he said, ‘Because you’re a fucking animal that shouldn’t be trusted with my pet.’

Xiumin had nothing to say in reply. How could he argue with that? The only reason he hadn’t killed Kyunghoon was because Heemi had been holding him back. If he had been left to his own devices, the human’s body parts would be painting the walls at the moment. 

He truly was pathetic. Too much of a beast to live among the humans, but too weak-hearted to stay with the demons. 

No wonder they did that to you...

And once again those awful memories were threatening to come back. But then he heard a voice clearly inside his mind. 

~He’s wrong. And so were they. You’re something special.~

And then that presence was gone, out the door with Heechul and out of Xiumin’s head. He was alone again now, but this time he didn’t cry. Somehow he didn’t quite feel as lonely as before. And he wasn’t cold. He pressed his hand to his chest where Heemi had been holding him. 

It was still warm.


	4. I don’t need anything else, just open your heart to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xiumin ends up somewhere he’s not supposed to with some interesting results

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m having a little too much fun playing with this kind of stream of consciousness writing XD

He actually fell asleep for a little while after that, now that his belly was full. But it was a restless, fitful sleep, full of half dreams and vague nightmares. He woke up for real though when the door to his room opened and Heemi (or was it Heechul again, he worried) stepped inside. 

‘It’s okay, it’s me,’ Heemi said. 

‘Which one is ‘me’?’ Xiumin asked blearily, already backing up against the wall, his sleepy brain preparing for another sneak attack.

‘Heemi,’ the elder replied, sounding as if Xiumin really should have known that, ‘How’s your jaw, by the way? I’m sorry, I usually have better control, but he got so protective over Kyunghoon he overpowered me.’

‘It’s understandable,’ Xiumin mumbled, ‘After what I did to that human’s arm...’

‘Don’t blame yourself,’ Heemi said and his voice had a stern edge to it, ‘It’s not your fault. You just need practice, that’s all.’

Xiumin nodded along, not in much of a mood to argue. He didn’t bother pointing out that he probably wouldn’t be alive much longer to get in more practice anyway. 

‘Alright,’ Heemi said, coming towards the bed, ‘How about we get you out of those clothes, hmm?’

‘What?’ 

If Xiumin had felt sleepy before he was wide awake now. He sat up in the bed, already on edge.

‘You’re filthy,’ Heemi continued, ‘You need a bath. You have about five different kinds of blood on you and I’m guessing those clothes haven’t been washed in a very long time.’

Xiumin relaxed as he realized what Heemi had actually intended by his words and not what he had been thinking. He gave a small sniff of himself and his nose scrunched up. He had to admit, he was getting slightly...ripe. It would be nice to not smell like a days old battlefield. 

‘Come on,’ Heemi said, gesturing for him to get up, ‘I’ll draw you a bath and get you some nice new clothes while you relax.’

Xiumin stood up to follow him, eager to get cleaned up, when he was startled by a loud banging sound somewhere else in the house. Heemi also seemed somewhat surprised at the noise.

‘Hyung!’ a voice called out, miserable and whiny sounding, ‘Hyuuuuung!’

Heemi was in the middle of telling Xiumin to just stay where he was, assuring him he’d seal off the room, when the door began to open. Xiumin didn’t have time to react before he was suddenly shoved backwards by Heemi’s hand. Black smoke whirled in front of his eyes as he fell back and back some more and then he felt himself sinking slowly, as if the floor had disappeared out from under him and he was now floating through a soft substance. He could just barely see Heemi in front of him as he sunk, the image getting smaller as he drifted further away. 

Heemi...and someone else. 

The one that killed Kai! 

Xiumin’s eyes flashed. It was his brother’s murderer standing there next to Heemi. But there wasn’t anything he could do as he felt himself sinking down further and further. And soon the tiny, receding image of Heemi and the other Suju clan member was gone, covered over by swirling black smoke. 

Now he was in darkness. Where exactly he wasn’t sure. He had seemed to stop sinking down though at least and felt himself sort of bobbing around in this strange atmosphere that he couldn’t quite explain. It wasn’t hard land. It wasn’t water. It wasn’t anything at all. It was just...space. Dark, space. 

He sniffed the air, trying to get some kind of idea of what he was floating in, but he smelled nothing. Not even the faintest whiff of a scent. Not from Heemi, not from the other Suju clan member, not even from himself as stinky as he was. It was like he didn’t even exist which was a kind of scary thought.

He stretched out his arms, seeing if he could touch anything, but it was just a lot of nothing in that department as well. And of course he could see nothing but darkness in front of him.

Then he heard it. Whispering, coming from somewhere near the right of him. He focused on it, trying to hear what it was saying. It was so quiet, so small, he couldn’t make anything out at first. He listened harder, holding in his breath for a moment, and then he caught just a snippet.

...can’t change it...

Then it was gone again. Frustrated, Xiumin listened even harder, focusing all of his body’s strength into his ears. 

...I tried...

...many times...

....so sorry...

...I can’t...

...always the same...

...can’t be here...

....go...

...hyung...

...go now!

Xiumin’s eyes went wide as he realized he knew the owner of this voice.

‘Tao?!’ he called out.

The moment the word left his mouth he felt the darkness close in around him, pushing at him from all sides as if it had suddenly gained mass and substance. He felt tendrils begin to wrap around his neck and he thrashed around, trying to break free. 

But how could he break free from something that he was completely enveloped in? It was impossible. He kicked and squirmed, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get away from that thick black darkness. It wasn’t just surrounding him, it was like it was going through him, winding its way through his heart and his mind, trying to suck him in further until he was a part of it. And now he could hear someone else speaking. It was no longer Tao’s soft voice, but the raspy choked voice of something sinister.

Caught you caught you caught you mine mine life life life life life life life

It was chanting it over and over, like a mantra. And now Xiumin knew where he was and what had happened. He was in the other plane, the dark world that acted as a barrier between the living world their clans inhabited and the underworld where they ended up when they died. This was the place that Tao could break into because of his power. It was the place that Heechul and Heemi seemed to draw their power from and could move freely through. 

But it was not a place for random demons to go into full force with no experience. And now he had been caught by something nasty that wanted his life, wanted his soul. Something dead or half-dead that roamed the plane, looking for a way to break free. These were the things humans called ghosts or spirits. The had little influence on the living world, usually manifesting as weak, transparent apparitions. But this was their territory that Xiumin had crossed into. And here they held all the power.

The thing was grabbing onto him with such force now he felt like his bones were going to crack. And it was getting harder and harder to breathe as the darkness that had wrapped around his neck began to slowly strangle him. 

‘T...ao...’ Xiumin gasped, calling out for his little brother in desperation. 

But he heard nothing in response, just the insane chanting of the thing squeezing the life out of him. And he felt such utter despair and loneliness the harder it held on, as if he could truly never be happy again. It was trying take his soul, he realized, trying to squish it right out of his vulnerable corporeal body. That darkness was trying to work its way into his mind, pushing everything else out until he was consumed. 

‘Please,’ Xiumin thought, no longer able to make a sound as he choked, ‘Help me. Somebody, please help me.’

‘Xiumin? Where are you?’ a voice answered back.

That voice was familiar. Before it had caused him to recoil in fear or disgust. But now he had never been so relieved to hear it. When his life was on the line he would gladly reach for the owner of that voice. Guess he wasn’t quite so nihilistic as he thought after all.

He wanted to call out to the other demon, but quickly realized it was impossible. He couldn’t even draw breath anymore, how could he talk? But Heemi could hear his thoughts, couldn’t he? 

‘Heemi,’ Xiumin thought, ‘Help...me...’

Even his mind was getting cloudy now and he knew it wouldn’t be long before that thing killed him. No, not just killed. It was going to take away his soul, his very being. And then everything about him would disappear, as if he had never existed. He couldn’t let that happen. He didn’t care if he died in the living world, but he would not have his spirit erased forever. He had to make sure it ended up with the others. 

‘Xiumin, grab my hand,’ the voice answered.

‘How?’ he thought, ‘I can’t move...’

‘Follow my voice. Reach out. Not with your body, with your mind. Let me find you.’

Xiumin concentrated, trying to connect himself to the elder demon, trying to reach for him with everything he had. A part of him was still scared to let Heemi get so close, to enter his mind freely, even at a time like this. He knew wasn’t going to last much longer. But even so, he was still hesitant to do it. 

What’s more important, keeping your secrets or keeping your soul?

With that thought spurring him on he finally opened his mind up fully. He had the mental image of himself reaching out with both arms, as if inviting the other demon for a hug. Or rather begging to be rescued. 

‘Please come get me,’ he whined, not caring what he sounded like anymore, not caring that he was giving Heemi access to all his innermost private thoughts.

He just couldn’t lose his soul.

‘I see you,’ came the response, ‘I’m coming, don’t worry.’

‘Hurry...’ 

He could feel his mind fading, the lack of air causing him to start to black out. But it wasn’t the same as passing out in the living world. He wasn’t just going to sleep. He felt a deep dread inside him, a gut-wrenching fear that if he let his eyes close, that if he gave in to the urge, he would be gone forever. Something dark would take him and he would be stuck here alone, in the blackness, alone and no light no life no happiness just dark bad negative everything bad

***

It was happening again. The memories he tried to keep hidden away. It was happening all over again.

The woman screaming. Her face. The look on her face. The sound of her voice. It was too much.

Blood everywhere. The taste of blood. And flesh. What was that in his mouth? Why did it scare him so much?

Tied up. Can’t move. Stop. Please stop. 

Why were they doing that? What was wrong with them? Why did they see him like that?

The feeling of betrayal. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

His brothers’ faces. Looking at him with pity.

That look in Suho’s eyes...

No

No no no no no

Don’t leave me here, please. Heemi, Heechul, I don’t care, get me out of here!

With that frantic plea he felt someone’s arm wrap around his waist, pulling him upwards, and then a voice, like his saviour, reaching into all those dark memories and pulling his mind out as well.

‘It’s okay, Minnie, come here,’ the voice said, ‘Let’s go.’

And then they were moving fast, up and out of that horrible place, towards light. 

***

His face hit the hard floor of the bedroom with a smack. He wasn’t sure how it happened since he was sure he didn’t have a body to feel with anymore. He felt so disconnected from it, as if his brain was ten feet away from the heavy lump of flesh that had just collided with the ground. 

He drew in a huge gasp, the air flowing into his lungs the greatest feeling in the world. He was dimly aware of Heemi holding him, rubbing his back as he coughed and sputtered.

‘Just breathe...’ the older demon was saying, ‘That’s it...’

Xiumin did as he was told, just concentrating on getting air into him. He couldn’t really think about anything else, his mind was a jumbled mess. He was just happy to be out of that place and back in the living world. 

Inhale.

Exhale.

Just breathe.

He could see his breath cloudy in front of him, like someone standing outside on a winter’s day. He shut his eyes and let the negative feelings roll off of him, locking away his old memories once again. He focused on the hand gently stroking up and down his back, warming his cold body with its touch. 

In a weird way he felt stronger now. Now that he knew he didn’t really want to die, at least not like that. No, he wasn’t just a pathetic crying mess, wishing to be annihilated. He still had some fight left.

Gradually his breathing began to even out, his body returning to its normal state as he shook off the last of that weird dark energy he had been enclosed in. 

‘Why did he think you could stay there by yourself?’ he heard the other demon mutter before he sighed, ‘He really is an idiot sometimes...’

Xiumin felt his body stiffen. He had been so desperate before he hadn’t been paying much attention to the voice coming to get him. But now that he thought about it, the tone had been different... And the name it had called him...

‘...Heechul?’ he asked.

‘Yes?’

Xiumin immediately pushed the other demon away from him in disgust. He sat back on the floor, eyeing Heechul warily. He would’ve liked to put a little more distance between them, but he lacked the strength to stand right now, so it was the best he could do.

‘You saved me...’ Xiumin said, realizing it now, and Heechul nodded, ‘Why?’

‘Did you really think I was going to let some low-level underworld dweller have you?’ Heechul scoffed, ‘No. You’re mine.’

Xiumin growled. 

‘I’m nobody’s,’ he said firmly, his tone (and his newly appeared fangs) indicating that this was definitely not something that was up for discussion.

But Heechul never heeded warnings. 

The elder demon moved up close to him in the blink of an eye (Xiumin supposed he’d never get used to that fast movement) and then he was only inches from the younger’s face. He stared at Xiumin curiously, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. 

‘We’ll see about that,’ he said.

He ran his thumb along Xiumin’s bottom lip, toying with him now. He was about two seconds away from not having a finger at all when he suddenly frowned and leaned back, holding his forehead.

Xiumin tried to ignore the whispers he could just barely hear around him as Heechul and Heemi argued. He didn’t want to go anywhere near that dark space again. Instead he willed his fangs down, trying to calm his body. Now was not the time to let his emotions get the better of him. That was exactly what Heechul wanted, to get a reaction out of him. Well, he wasn’t going to play along.

‘You are a jealous bitch, aren’t you?’ he heard Heechul say aloud and he knew it wasn’t directed at him.

Then he heard Heemi’s voice, faint, but still present inside his head.

~I’ll let you have the body when you’re with Donghae. But I’m in control when it’s Xiumin~

-Jealous and bossy-

~Go away~

-I will...for now. Enjoy-

Xiumin saw the transition happen in front of him. It was subtle, only a slight change of facial expression, in posture, but it was apparent now that Heemi was the one in control again with the way the older demon looked at him. 

‘Are you alright?’ he asked and Xiumin just nodded, ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t think of what else to do so Donghae wouldn’t see you. I didn’t realize you’d have such a hard time there. It’s so easy for us.’

‘It’s fine,’ Xiumin said, ‘I’m fine now.’

Half true, but he figured whinging over his aching body wasn’t the best idea. 

‘Well,’ Heemi said, ‘Donghae’s gone now. So how about that bath?’

Xiumin exhaled, trying to get rid of the last nagging feelings of despair clinging onto him. 

‘Why do you ask me things as if I actually have a choice?’ he asked and Heemi blinked at him.

‘You do have a choice,’ he said.

‘So I can leave this place then?’

Heemi chuckled.

‘You have a choice in anything except that,’ he replied and Xiumin nodded his head, smiling bitterly.

‘Of course. I’m a prisoner, but one with rights.’

‘But isn’t it better here anyway?’ Heemi asked, ‘You don’t have to worry about being hunted, you don’t have to always be on the run. And I can protect you.’

‘Like you did back there?’ Xiumin asked accusingly, eyebrow raised.

He didn’t know why he was being confrontational now. Heemi was the one that was actually nice to him. And he felt guilty for his words when he saw the way the other’s face fell.

‘I made a mistake...’ the older demon mumbled, ‘I’m sorry...’

‘It’s okay,’ Xiumin said and he wondered why he was apologizing to the person that had essentially jailed him here.

It was the look in his eyes. That regret that Xiumin knew all too well.

He didn’t want to think too hard about that.

‘You should have your bath,’ Heemi said, his voice back to its usual cheeriness, although it seemed just a little forced in Xiumin’s opinion, ‘You’ll feel better after. Come on, I got the water ready.’

He stood up and reached for Xiumin’s hand to help him up. But Xiumin wobbled as he was pulled up, still feeling slightly off balance, and then he fell into Heemi’s arms, face pressed against the elder’s chest, his nose full of that scent he couldn’t quite describe. Heechul and Heemi didn’t smell quite the same as the rest of the Suju clan, a scent that he had come to associate with death over these past few months. 

No, this smelled actually pretty good. He wouldn’t mind breathing in just a little bit more.

Xiumin stayed squashed against Heemi like that for a moment longer than he would have liked and then he straightened up and stood back, trying his hardest to stay upright without faltering. Just once he wanted to show some strength. He was getting tired of always being so weak.

‘I shouldn’t have left you there,’ Heemi said quietly, ‘That thing got its hooks into you good, didn’t it?’

‘I’m fine,’ Xiumin assured him, ‘I just need a moment to shake it off. I’m sure a bath will help.’ Then he paused, glancing at Heemi somewhat nervously. ‘We’re not...taking one together...are we?’

Heemi just laughed.

‘Not that I would be opposed to that idea, but no, I have some things to do. I’ll let you keep your privacy.’

Xiumin relaxed somewhat at that. Yes, it would be nice to have a soak and not have to worry about wandering eyes or wandering...other things.

Don’t think about things like that. Stop thinking like that. Be strong.

Heemi patted his head affectionately before taking him by the hand to lead him out the door.

‘You think too much, Xiu,’ he chided, ‘Just relax. You’re okay now.’

Xiumin bristled. 

‘I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to read my thoughts once I had my strength back...’

‘I said I wouldn’t be able to read them as well. But that was before you opened yourself up in the other plane and let Heechul dive right in.’

Xiumin cringed at the thought and he could have sworn Heemi did the same.

‘So, what? Now you can just enter my head whenever you want?’ Xiumin asked, annoyed.

‘If I wanted to, yes. But I won’t. And I won’t let him do it either.’

They had been walking down the hall, but now Xiumin stopped. He turned to face the other demon, eyeing him with distrust.

‘Why are you being so nice to me?’ he asked, ‘What’s in it for you?’

Again that smile. So different from Heechul’s smirk and yet at the same time so similar. It was like there were a thousand different stories behind that face and Xiumin was just barely seeing one. 

‘I let you keep your secrets,’ Heemi said, ‘So you’ll have to let me keep mine.’ 

He brushed back a strand of Xiumin’s hair, his touch lighter than a feather as he looked into the younger demon’s eyes. His gaze was so sincere. Xiumin had never seen another demon look like that, especially not towards him. 

He just blinked back at Heemi, searching for a way to respond and coming up with nothing. And then Heemi was pulling at his hand, leading him down the hall and towards the bathroom. 

Xiumin didn’t know what to say. Mostly because he was too busy wondering why his heart flip flopped in his chest when Heemi looked at him like that.


	5. When the sadness comes that stops me from saying anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Xiumin was stuck in the other plane Heemi had some time to think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short Heemi&Heechul chapter interlude while I work on a longer one with Xiumin. It’s kind of weird and vague since it’s mostly Heemi’s thoughts. I hope it’s not too confusing. I have a very clear and defined storyline outline and backstories for both Xiumin and Heemi, so if things don’t make any sense right now, don’t worry, they will eventually. I just wanted to give little glimpses before I reveal everything in later chapters. 
> 
> Also, side note: The demons in my story call each other ‘brother’, but they are not blood related. That’s because they’re not born from two parents, they were simply created by a bigger entity and then brought together to live in clans. So keep that in my mind when reading this chapter lol. ;)

‘Heemi, where are you? I can’t see you.’

‘I’m here! Please, come get me!’

‘I still can’t see you. Open your mind up more.’

‘I-I can’t. It’s too dark here, I can’t...’

‘Yes, you can. Just concentrate. We’ve been here many times before.’

‘Not like this...’

‘Then you’ll just have to work harder. Come on, you can do it.’

‘I can’t...I’m scared...’

‘Stop whining and do it.’

‘I can’t... I want Leeteuk hyung...’

‘Heemi-yah, you have to trust me. Let me find you.’

‘...Heechul-ah...’

‘Concentrate.’

‘Please hurry...’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll find you. And I promise I’ll never let you go...’

***

Funny how certain moments could trigger certain memories. Even funnier how certain events seemed doomed to repeat themselves, albeit in slightly different ways. Was it all part of the same story? Just different layers on top of each other? Or was it maybe that time wasn’t exactly linear? That when you moved through different dimensional planes you were bound to touch the threads of a few different universes? And cross-contamination of fates might just happen? What’s the real timeline anymore? Who knows...

-Your thoughts are annoying. Shut up.-

~You know what’s annoying? Those noises you make when you have sex. You sound like an animal.~

-Why were you listening anyway? I thought you didn’t like it. Or are you into watching now?-

~I don’t like it. But it’s hard not to hear when you’re grunting like a pig.~

-As if you would sound any better. Not that we’ll ever know now...-

~...~

-...Heemi-yah...-

~...~

-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.’

~...it’s fine. I shouldn’t have complained in the first place.~

-Heemi-yah...-

~It’s fine.~

***

One hour earlier...

***

‘Hyung! Look what that little bastard did to me!’ 

Donghae was already whining the moment he opened the door. Heemi had no time to think about what to do with Xiumin. So he did the only thing he knew how. He opened up a door to the other realm and pushed Xiumin inside. He knew even if Donghae caught a glimpse of the younger demon that he wouldn’t be able to follow after. He just hoped Xiumin would be okay by the time he came back to get him.

Fortunately Donghae didn’t see him. He was too busy crying about his face. There was a deep slash running along his cheek, with small rivulets of blood dripping down his jaw and neck. 

‘It won’t stop bleeding,’ he whimpered, ‘What the fuck is in his claws?’

‘Just be grateful it wasn’t one of the Shinki,’ was all Heemi said as he methodically checked over Donghae’s face.

He made no effort to comfort his younger brother as he poked and prodded at the wound. 

‘Why are you being so cold towards me?’ Donghae whined, already teary eyed as usual.

‘Why do you smell like death?’ Heemi asked.

Donghae suddenly grinned, smiling through his tears. It was incredibly unnerving. Truthfully Heemi didn’t care for how his brothers had become over the last few years. Ever since they had gotten this idea in their heads about becoming stronger, ever since they had started hunting down other clans, they had become more ruthless, more sinister. Of course Heemi had always been different from them, right from the start. Always a little less ‘manly’ than the rest of them. Heechul had been too, to a certain extent, and for a long time Donghae had been the third part of their soft little trio. But now...

It was like he wasn’t even the same demon anymore.

‘I got one of them,’ Donghae said, still smiling, ‘I got one, I got a power. Watch this.’

He disappeared right in front of Heemi’s eyes before reappearing across the room.

‘Isn’t it amazing?’ he asked, still smiling widely.

But Heemi didn’t return his smile.

‘So you killed an Exo,’ he said, staring at Donghae with thinly veiled disgust.

‘Yeah, I got one of the babies,’ Donghae replied, sounding oh so cheerful about his murder confession, ‘Still, pretty good power for a baby, don’t you think?’

Heemi shrugged.

‘We have better,’ was all he said. 

Donghae frowned, all his earlier excitement suddenly disappearing like smoke in the wind.

‘Oh, I should have known it was you,’ he said, ‘The way you’re acting. Let Heechul hyung come out. I don’t want to talk to you.’

‘Fine,’ Heemi replied, ‘I don’t want to talk to you either.’

Of course he regretted it later. He should have known what they were going to do. After Heechul had bandaged Donhae’s cheek his hands had begun wandering. And soon enough he and Donghae were on the bed, on top of each other, clothes being thrown on the floor, and that’s when Heemi really checked out. Of course he couldn’t leave fully. No, he just had to try and retreat as much as he could, back into his own thoughts, maybe float through some memories. But it was really difficult when Heechul kept making those noises.

‘Fuck...Hae...feels so fucking good...’

Ugggh. Gross. 

He’d never been into Donghae like that. He’d always just seen him as his cute little brother. So sweet and innocent. At least, he used to be. 

Until you fucked everything up. You know it’s not supposed to be this way, right? Something went wrong way back then. This isn’t the right thread to follow. But you just keep following it down and down, as everything goes more and more...wrong, and you can’t seem to get out of it. 

Is this really our fates? To live at each other’s throats like this? To be so consumed by greed for power that we exterminated an entire-

‘Fuck I’m coming, fuck...’

Oh, thank the gods, it’s finally over.

~Let me have control. I need to get Xiumin.~

-...............................-

~Let me have control now!~

-....slow down...I haven’t even...fuck, do you see where I’m at right now?-

~No, I don’t particularly want to. Just let me have the body.~

-Um, I don’t think you really want it at the moment. Considering where it’s currently...nestled...-

~Just hurry up then!~

-You’re really ruining the moment, you know?-

~What ‘moment’? You’re just fucking. Hardly romantic...’

-Says you...-

~Hurry up and let me go!~

-Give me five minutes. I want to enjoy this. Despite what you think, I like to spend some time afterwards with the person I’ve just fucked instead of running off the second I finish.-

~But....I need to go get Xiumin. Please...~

-Wow, are you actually begging me? You must really like that little demon...-

~I...~

-Wait, are you in love with him?-

~I don’t...~

-Shit. You really are, aren’t you?’

~I mean, I...~

-Let me ask a better question, are you a fucking idiot? After what happened last time?-

~...~

-I won’t go through that again. This is my body. And I plan on keeping it. Just remember, I make the rules here, not you.-

~...~

-Are you listening to me?-

~...I hate you.~

-Well, you’re stuck with me.-

~Just let me go get Xiumin. Please. You want his blood too, don’t you? Are you going to let that go to waste? Let some spirit have him instead?~

-Ugh, fine. You are really, truly a pain in my ass. Or rather, a pain in my head I should say. Let’s go get that little bastard. But on one condition. I’m in control. I’ve done it before anyway...-

~Thank you.~

-Whatever...-

~I don’t mean for now, I mean for before...~

-I know what you mean. And it’s still ‘whatever’.-

~Heechul-ah...~

-Come on, let’s go. I’ll send Donghae away and then we can go pick up your lover.-

***

Same place, but a different story. Same pain, but different people. Like two sides of a coin. Can’t help but wonder, is it purely coincidence or is this the true thread to follow? Going up, just a tiny bit, instead of continually spiralling downwards? There’s something about that Exo, that’s for sure. Something that draws you in, pulls you closer. It’s more than simple attraction....

Is it really...destiny?


	6. I tried to push you away but I’m being pulled by you again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to heat up, but Xiumin just can’t seem to forget the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a weird note, but just thought I’d mention that the bathtub Xiumin is in is not a small tub, but like a giant pool in the floor. 
> 
> That’s the only note lol. XD Enjoy!

This was nice. This was really nice.

Xiumin let out a long sigh as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, taking in the warmth from the bath he was submerged in. After days of running, hiding, fighting (and eating) it felt so good to just relax. Well, as much as one could relax when they were being held captive in the house of a rival clan member. A house that apparently could be infiltrated by that clan member’s murderous brothers at any moment. He glanced over at the door to the bathroom. There was that swirling black smoke floating thinly across it, indicating that Heemi had blocked it off. 

Blocked it both ways, he reminded himself. The smoke was just as much to keep Xiumin in as it was to keep the rest of the Suju clan out. At the moment though he didn’t mind it so much. Not when he could soothe his aching muscles and finally scrub himself clean of all those horrible scents. He took one of the cloths from beside him and gently rubbed it along his formerly injured arm. The wound had closed up and it didn’t hurt so much anymore. There was only a faint line where Eunhyuk’s claws had slashed him. He knew it would fade away soon. Unlike the rest...

He glanced down at this torso and then quickly looked away again. He hated seeing those scars. Just another reminder of what he failure he was...

Xiumin shivered as the water suddenly turned cool. The rising steam along its surface was gone as his chilly body completely evaporated any warmth left in the liquid.

Fuck.

Guess he wouldn’t get to relax after all. Oh well, at least he was clean. Well his body anyway, but he hadn’t gotten around to his hair yet. He scooped up the frigid water and poured it over his head, trying not to squirm at the less than pleasant feeling. Then he began roughly running his fingers through, trying to get rid of the tangles. I conjured up an image in his mind.

An image of him and Luhan together in the bath. Lu had always helped him wash his hair. Of course he had been much gentler than Xiumin was being now. He remembered the way Luhan would laugh at him as he massaged Xiumin’s scalp, telling him he was like a dog getting its belly rubbed. 

‘Are you going to start thumping your foot now too? My little mutt...’ Luhan had said, giggling. And then-

Half his face gone.

Blood everywhere.

Ryeowook

Ryeowook

Ryeowook was...

...eating...

Xiumin heard a cracking sound. Before he could react he saw the water around him begin to turn to ice, freezing with alarming speed. He stopped in his washing and quickly tried to get up and out of the bath, but it was too late. The moment his hands touched the water it all froze. Everything hardened around him, trapping him up to his shoulders. The entire bath was now one solid block of ice. It hurt where it pressed against him, pushing at his body, but there was no room for him to wriggle, even a little. And while a normal person’s body heat might have at least had a small effect, Xiumin’s ice cold temperature did nothing to help the situation. 

Stupid stupid why can’t you get your power under control yet?

With a grunt he tried summoning all his might to simply break out of the ice. He knew he was strong enough to crack it, his clan had much more than an average human’s strength, that was for sure, but the problem was just that he couldn’t get any leverage. He couldn’t use force to break it if he couldn’t move at all.

He didn’t know how he was going to get out. And what if another Suju clan member got through Heemi’s blockade? He would be the perfect prey sitting immobilized like this. He had a sudden thought of Donghae charging into the room, sliding across the ice and ripping into his neck. He couldn’t help it as a sad little whimper escaped him. He didn’t like being stuck like this. If he could fight back, he wasn’t afraid of the possibility of death, but he hated being trapped. 

At least your body’s covered. They’d kill you before they could do any worse...

Xiumin squirmed against the ice, moving his head back and forth, trying somehow to get free, even just a little bit. He was starting to panic slightly now, feeling claustrophobic. He had to get out. He had to get free. He was not going to be someone’s meal. 

He felt his stomach drop as there was a knock at the door. 

‘Xiu? Can I come in?’

He relaxed slightly at the sound of Heemi’s voice. Funny how that voice would have only made this situation worse a day ago, but suddenly it was soothing to him. 

‘Yes, come in,’ he said, sounding a little too desperate, but not much he could do.

Despite his predicament he couldn’t help but be amused when Heemi came in covering his eyes. What a strange demon he was. Xiumin had never known one to be like this. 

‘I brought you some new clothes,’ Heemi said, still covering his eyes with his arm as he held up the garments. ‘Are you covered? Can I open my eyes?’

‘Yes, but you might be a little surprised,’ Xiumin replied.

He had no idea how he could be so calm now. Just moments ago his brain was in a panic. But it was as if his worries disappeared when Heemi entered. Suddenly the situation seemed much more silly than dire now that Heemi was here. Did that mean he trusted the other demon to protect him? Or was it something more...

No.

Xiumin watched as Heemi opened his eyes. A look of confusion came over the elder’s face before he suddenly grinned wide. He started to giggle, trying to hold it in, but soon he was really laughing.

‘It’s not funny,’ Xiumin said, ‘I’m really stuck here.’

‘You’re...you’re an iceberg...’ Heemi replied, still laughing. 

‘Can you just hurry up and get me out?’ Xiumin asked, ‘It hurts...’

Heemi stopped laughing at that and came over to the edge of the bath, looking serious. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘What do you want me to do?’

‘Just smash it or something,’ Xiumin said impatiently. 

Heemi cocked his head to the side, studying the bathtub. 

‘That’s too risky,’ he said, ‘Too many shards. I think I have a better idea.’

He gingerly stepped onto the ice, almost as if he was making sure it was really frozen (Xiumin sighed, he could have assured him it was definitely frozen) and then he crawled over to where Xiumin’s head and shoulders were poking out. 

‘Just tell me if it gets too hot...’ he said.

He placed his hands on the ice right in front of Xiumin’s body and Xiumin watched as dark smoke began to swirl around them. There was a hissing sound and then miraculously the ice around him began to melt, albeit very slowly. He knew Heemi had a lot of power, enough to melt all of it quickly, but it seemed as if the elder demon was really holding back, being so oddly gentle in his task. 

He crouched down low on the ice, putting both is palms and forearms against its surface as he concentrated on slowly melting it down. This meant his head was right in front of Xiumin’s. At first Heemi was only looking down at the ice, but then his gaze traveled up, until he was staring the younger demon in the face. Xiumin swallowed hard, allowing himself just a few seconds to gaze into those eyes before he looked away. 

‘You don’t have to be afraid of me,’ Heemi said softly, ‘I told you, I’ll protect you.’

‘Why?’ Xiumin shot back, ‘Why do you care about me at all? Is this just some game?’

‘No. It’s not a game...’

They were so close. So close and he could smell Heemi’s scent and it was so warm and inviting and he wanted nothing more than to dive into that warmth, but he just couldn’t be tricked again, he couldn’t face betrayal again, so it was better to never give in to always stay on his guard because

Heemi’s lips against his stopped the rest of that train of thought dead in its tracks. Xiumin made a little noise against the elder’s mouth, half surprise, half..something else, as Heemi kissed him softly. 

It was so gentle, so sweet, that for a moment Xiumin’s heart hurt even more than if it had been rough and forceful. Why was he being so nice to him? Why was he taking care of him? 

Most importantly, why did he think Xiumin deserved it? Because he definitely didn’t.

~Shhh, stop that~

Why? Why are you doing this?

~Do you want me to stop?~

I...n-no...I don’t...think so?

~Then stop thinking so much and just enjoy it~

He was about to protest when suddenly Heemi’s tongue was moving in a very interesting way and he felt a shiver run through him that definitely wasn’t related to the cold. He could feel his heart beating faster and now his body temperature was increasing too. No, not just his. He could feel that heat radiating from Heemi as well, as if they were both connected.

Too hot...definitely...too hot...

And in an instant the ice around him melted. As did all of it inside the bathtub. There was a tremendous splash as the frozen platform Heemi had been resting on turned to liquid and he was submerged. Xiumin watched as Heemi rose up from the water, sputtering and cursing, his hair and clothes soaking wet. 

‘Ah, shit...’ Heemi cursed, brushing the hair out of his eyes, ‘Fucking hell...’

Xiumin couldn’t help it as he snickered. It was funny to see the usual composed, beautiful demon now flailing around and huffing, annoyed, looking like a drowned rat. Heemi ungracefully stalked over to the side of the tub and hauled himself out, his waterlogged clothes sagging around him. He turned to glare at the still chuckling Xiumin as he sat at the edge of the tub, wringing out his long hair. His annoyance seemed to turn to curious concern though as he glanced down at Xiumin’s now exposed torso.

Xiumin followed his gaze down to the myriad of scars criss-crossing over his skin and the sudden image of long, poisonous claws slicing slowly, meticulously through his flesh as he screamed and cried flashed in his mind. He quickly sunk down in the water up to his chin, pulling his arm across his chest defensively just for good measure. He was no longer laughing now as he peered at Heemi over the water’s surface like a wary crocodile. 

He didn’t know if the other demon had seen it. They had definitely been connected when they were kissing and he knew they still had some kind of mind link in general, but he wasn’t sure about the scope of it. Had Heemi been watching? Or did that image pass him by? 

If he had seen it though he made no reaction. 

‘That was not supposed to happen,’ Heemi muttered, shaking his sleeves out.

‘Which part?’ Xiumin asked, relieved he wasn’t being questioned about the memory.

Heemi smiled at him. And then Xiumin heard his voice, without the other demon’s mouth opening.

~Just the water part. The part before that was definitely supposed to happen.~

‘Says you,’ Xiumin said aloud, ‘And don’t go in my head like that.’

He was still feeling flustered and he hated how easy it was for Heemi to just invade his thoughts. 

‘Sorry,’ Heemi said, standing up, ‘I figured since we already kissed, it wouldn’t be a problem.’

‘WE didn’t kiss,’ Xiumin said, ‘You kissed me. I was stuck, I couldn’t do anything about it.’

He could have sworn Heemi looked hurt at that and he saw the doubt flicker in the other’s eyes.

‘I asked if you wanted me to stop...’ Heemi said quietly, ‘You didn’t tell me to stop.’

‘Well...’ Xiumin faltered, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation and failing, ‘Maybe I don’t know what I want right now, alright? My head is messed up. I haven’t exactly had the greatest time these last few days. You know, with your family murdering mine and all...’

‘I understand,’ was all Heemi replied, sounding a bit colder than usual.

He stood still for a moment, seeming to be conversing with Heechul, then he shook his head before pulling off his pants.

‘What are you doing?’ Xiumin asked, alarmed.

‘These are wet. I don’t want to wear them anymore,’ Heemi said, as if the answer was obvious.

‘But..just..here? Like this?’

‘Why not? I don’t care if you see. I just really hate being in wet clothes.’

He said it with a shrug and Xiumin could tell there was no ill intention behind his action. He wasn’t trying to pull some trick, he wasn’t going to assert himself over Xiumin. He literally just wanted a change of clothes.

He really was the strangest demon ever.

Xiumin looked away as Heemi undressed, idly pawing at the now steaming hot water he was sitting in. 

‘You’re so polite, Xiu,’ Heemi remarked, ‘But really, you don’t have to do that. I don’t mind if you look.’

‘I don’t want to,’ Xiumin said, sinking down further into the water until it was just below his nose. 

‘I don’t believe that. I think you’re curious,’ Heemi replied and Xiumin could hear the smirk in his voice.

‘I definitely am not.’

‘Come on,’ Heemi said, ‘I think you’ll be surprised by what you see.’

Xiumin didn’t respond, instead choosing to blow bubbles under the surface of the water, like a sulking child. 

‘I’m not trying to play a trick,’ Heemi said and he sounded more serious now, ‘I really think you should look. I have pants on now, alright? Just...look at this.’

With an annoyed sigh Xiumin turned to face Heemi and immediately felt like he was punched in the gut. It wasn’t as bad as the ones he had, but he knew it had to have hurt at least. There, across Heemi’s torso, was a long, dark scar, indicating that there had once been a deep wound in the flesh. It curved its way all the way across the older demon’s chest and towards his back. Xiumin knew if it had been from an ordinary demon’s claws there would be no mark there now. The skin would have healed perfectly after time. There was only one clan whose poison claws left marks like that.

Shinki.

How...

No, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to think about it. 

‘Heechul was disrespectful to one of them once,’ Heemi explained, ‘Earned himself this nice little souvenir for it. I thought it was the worst I’d seen, but yours... What exactly did you say to them to get that treatment?’

‘I didn’t say anything!’ Xiumin yelled, his eyes flashing and fangs bared, ‘I didn’t do anything!’

The water around him began to frost over and he struggled to keep his power under control this time.

‘Okay, okay,’ Heemi was saying, ‘I’m sorry, it was a bad joke. Just, don’t make yourself an iceberg again, alright? Look, there’s a towel behind you. Just take that and come out of there before you freeze again.’

Xiumin was breathing heavily, his whole body vibrating. The sight of that scar had put him into fight mode. It was a horrible reminder of what he had gone through and it almost felt as if one of the Shinki were here with him now. He was practically snarling as he grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his lower half before hopping out of the bath. He stood still for a moment, facing away from Heemi as he tried to get himself under control. 

~Xiu...it’s okay...~

No, it’s not. You don’t understand. You don’t know what happened. 

~I think I have an idea~

No, you really don’t. And I don’t want you to. So just, stop. 

He felt a hand on his face, cupping his cheek tenderly. But that was impossible since Heemi was on the other side of the room. It must have only been in his mind. But somehow, that ghostly touch caused his fangs to retract and his eyes to fade back to brown. 

~Those memories...no one else knows, do they? You’ve been carrying that around alone all this time...’

Stop it. 

~I won’t push you to remember it. But just know that you can tell me about it. You shouldn’t have to carry it alone. I didn’t have to.~

Xiumin give a bitter little laugh. 

‘Don’t try to compare that one scratch to what I went through...’ he muttered.

~I wasn’t talking about that. You have no idea what happened to me. I-~

-Heemi, stop.-

Xiumin cringed as he heard Heechul’s voice clearly inside his head. It was only for a moment though and then they were both gone. Xiumin turned around to see Heemi standing very still, hands clenched into fists, his eyes looking fierce for the first time. Xiumin tried to listen harder, to see if he could hear what the two of them were saying, but it was silent. For once he was left completely out of their loop. In a weird way he suddenly felt very lonely. For as much as he complained about them getting into his head it felt too empty when they were both gone. 

After a moment, Heemi unclenched his hands and let out a sigh. 

‘Come on,’ he said, motioning to Xiumin, ‘I’ll take you to your room.’

Xiumin grabbed some nearby clothes and hastily dressed as Heemi turned away. He tried to reach out to the elder demon with his thoughts, to see if Heemi was listening in, but it was still quiet. Was there really no one in his head now? 

For that question he only received silence in return. 

Guess so. He knew he should have felt happy at that. So why was it making him feel even worse? 

Because now you are truly alone. 

Heemi waved his hand at the smoke covering the door and then opened it. And Xiumin found himself moving just a little too quickly to follow after him as he left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter’s going to get heavy as we delve into Xiumin’s past, be prepared. ;_;


	7. In the end, me and you, we’re just animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xiumin begins to go through his past with Heemi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it took me so long to update! I don’t know if anyone is even still reading this anymore, but I am still working on it. And I do intend to finish it!

‘Heemi-yah! Heemi-yah!’ 

He heard his brother calling out for him. Why did he have to be so noisy? They were safe hiding in here in the darkness. That other demon couldn’t come get them. But now Heechul had to be such a loudmouth and he was going to get into trouble.

Of course...Heemi could just let him get into trouble. Maybe that would teach him a lesson...

Heemi rocked baby Donghae back and forth in his arms as they sat enclosed in the comforting darkness, smoke curling around them. He knew Donghae shouldn’t be in here in the other plane with him, but as long as he held onto his baby brother tightly he would be safe. Safer than out there anyway.

‘Heemi-yah! Come on!’

I should just let him stay out there. With that big fat stupid mouth of his.

Almost as if he could read Heemi’s thoughts, Donghae squirmed in his arms and began to fuss.

‘Hyung...’ the baby demon babbled, ‘Chul hyung...’

He began reaching his arms out and wiggling his legs, trying to get out of Heemi’s grasp.

‘Stop it,’ Heemi told him, ‘It’s not safe.’

‘Chul hyung...’ Donghae whined.

He kicked and thrashed, but Heemi held onto him tight. He would not let him go in here. There were too many other things lurking in the blackness, ready to scoop up a baby demon the first chance they got. But Donghae wouldn’t be deterred. When he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere with his wriggling he elongated his fangs and sank them into his older brother’s arm.

‘Ah! Shit!’ Heemi exclaimed, cringing in pain, but still having the sense not to let go of Donghae in this place, ‘Alright, alright, we’ll go. Let go, let go.’

But Donghae stubbornly continued to bite his arm until Heemi whisked them both out of the dark space and back into the forest. They appeared in a puff of smoke in front of Heechul who didn’t seem at all surprised by them, or by the blood on Heemi’s arm.

‘Why were you in there?’ Heechul asked, ‘Playing hide and seek?’

‘Sort of...’ Heemi replied.

He sniffed the air, searching for the scent of the demon that had been feeding earlier. It was still there, along with the smell of blood, but it was faint now, as if that older demon had already left.

-Who was it? Someone we know?-

~No. I’d never seen them before. And they smell different. They’re not from around here...~

-How do you know?-

~I just do~

-Maybe we should...-

~Fuck~

-That wasn’t what I had in mind, but I mean if you really want to...-

~No. Fuck, there’s someone else. Can’t you smell it?~

-Shit, how are they so fast? Come on let’s...-

Heemi cried out as Heechul was suddenly knocked to the ground and pinned down by someone. The other demon growled, baring his fangs as he looked over Heechul with hungry eyes. 

‘Heechul-ah!’ 

The demon sniffed along Heechul’s neck, breathing in the scent with interest. And then it spoke in a language Heemi had never heard before. 

‘美味しいそう。食べたい...’

Heemi was frozen. He didn’t know what to do. Normally he wasn’t scared seeing older demons feeding. He knew he just needed to stay out of their way. But there was something different about this one. Something too predatory, too vicious. Something not right at all. He didn’t know how to react. All he could do was hold onto his baby brother, gripped with fear.

-Go! Take Donghae and go!-

~I...~

-Go!-

He knew he should do something. Try to save Heechul somehow. But he was terrified. And he didn’t know why. 

It’s not supposed to be here. This..this is the wrong thread... This isn’t supposed to happen. It’s...just...wrong...

He didn’t know what these thoughts were or why they appeared in his head. He didn’t know why the sight of that strange foreign demon scared him so much. All he knew was that Heechul was going to die and then they’d be next. In a flash he saw the image of Heechul’s broken body, Donghae lying limp on the ground, and then large fangs coming towards his own face. 

‘No!’

Heemi screamed in terror and anger, his eyes glowing red, his whole body vibrating with energy. He felt something surging in him, a feeling of power he’d never experienced before, as he saw the air change around them. The atmosphere rippled, the lines around the other demon blurred and then focused sharp and clear again as he felt a dark and powerful force move through him. 

It was so fast, happened in an instant, but he felt as if he had just experienced a lifetime’s worth of emotions and memories all at once. 

Threads threads threads, so many different threads... Did he grab the right one...

Once again he didn’t know what these kind of thoughts were. And just as quickly as they had come they were gone. And he nearly had no memory of actually thinking them. 

Heemi stared at the scene in front of him. Heechul and the other demon didn’t seem to be have been affected by anything, but as Heemi looked at them now somehow he felt more calm. Even though the attack was still happening things somehow felt ‘right’ again.

He had no idea what he had just done, or what he should do now, but thankfully he didn’t need to make a choice. He heard a familiar growl from behind him and felt even more relieved just from that sound. He instinctively stepped aside for the other person, his body already knowing who it was before his brain could catch up.

The demon holding Heechul cried out as he was instantly tackled to the ground by the powerful force of an extremely angry Suju clan leader. Heechul tucked and rolled out of the way as Leeteuk began to pummel the strange foreign demon.

Heemi still held Donghae to his chest protectively as he watched Leeteuk savagely beat the other demon with his bare hands, not even using his claws or teeth yet. Their eldest brother really was amazing. Most of the time he was calm and patient, teaching them how to hunt properly, sometimes mediating between other clans. He was a wise leader that other demons generally respected. But, if you made him angry... If you hurt his little brothers...

There wouldn’t be enough of you left to tell the tale...

Heemi could only watch wide-eyed as the demon howled and screamed in pain. One of its eyes was now hanging from the socket, blood pouring from the empty hole as the eyeball just dangled there. Like a big white dumpling, on the end of a string... It was awful. It was disgusting. Heemi felt sickened. But he couldn’t look away. He was still frozen in shock.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. Heechul had moved up beside him so fast.

‘Come on,’ his twin said, ‘Let’s go. Hyung will take care of that thing.’ 

‘What...what is that...’ Heemi mumbled, still staring, as Donghae tried to wriggle out of his arms and go to Heechul.

‘Who cares,’ Heechul replied, ‘Let’s just go, alright?’

‘I...I don’t understand...’

-Heemi, move! Now!-

He felt Heechul grab him around the waist and forcefully pull him into the other plane, then all but drag the two of them through it, floating faster than he ever had before until they came out the other side somewhere completely different. They were close to home now, the familiar scent only a slight comfort to Heemi’s rattled mind. He let go of Donghae then and the baby demon toddled over to Heechul, tugging at his older brother’s shirt as he babbled away, apparently completely unphased by what had just happened to them. He was still so innocent. He probably thought they were just playing a game.

Heemi knelt down on the ground, breathing hard, his brain still trying to process everything. 

~What was that thing? Why was it here?~

-I don’t know. It looked like a foreigner to me. Said something weird. And all its thoughts were in a different language too-

~What did I do? How did I fix it?~

-Um, you didn’t do anything. You just stood there like an asshole watching me about to get eaten until Leeteuk hyung saved me-

~No...I did something... But, I don’t know what...~

-You don’t know because you didn’t do anything. Maybe you hallucinated a rescue or something, but trust me, you were just standing there. Thanks, by the way, I could have died.-

~You would have died... I remember, I saw it. We all died. It killed us.~

-What are you talking about?-

~...I...I don’t know. I don’t know what happened. I just...had a feeling, I guess. Everything felt wrong. We were going to die. We weren’t supposed to die. But we were going to. Because it was wrong. The...thread...was wrong. It was all wrong and then I screamed and it went right again.~

-But you didn’t scream. Trust me, you didn’t do anything. You just stood there looking like you were going to piss yourself-

~I DID DO SOMETHING~

-Okay, okay, I believe you. Don’t explode my brain over it, alright?-

~I saved you. I saved your fucking life. I saved everything~

-Okay. I can see you feel very strongly about this. So if anyone asks I will tell them, yes, you saved me. Alright? Will that make you feel better?-

~Don’t patronize me...~

‘Hyung! Donghae-yah!’

He looked up to see two of his younger brothers running towards them. It was sweet quiet Yesung who looked so worried at the sight of them, and Kangin, who was already bigger than Heemi and Heechul even though he was younger, looking ready for a fight. 

‘What happened? Why do you smell like blood?’

Heemi looked down at his arm that still had the small wound from where Donghae had bit him. But Kangin wasn’t looking at that. He lifted up Heechul’s arm instead. It had long claw marks on it where that strange demon had grabbed him. Heemi felt awful. He had been so fixated on what hat happened to him he hadn’t even noticed Heechul was hurt. 

‘It’s fine,’ Heechul told him as he brushed Kangin off, ‘Barely a scratch. It’ll probably heal before sundown.’

‘What happened?’ Yesung asked.

‘Ran into an older demon that tried to give us some trouble. But Leeteuk hyung took care of it,’ Heechul replied.

Yes, Leeteuk hyung did take care of it, didn’t he? Heemi could still see that eyeball in his mind, swinging back and forth. It was probably up a tree by now.

‘Come on, let’s get inside,’ Yesung suggested, picking Donghae up, ‘I’ll make you some tea and get a bandage for your arm.’

‘Eh, it’s fine,’ Heechul told him as he followed his younger brothers up to the house.

Heemi lingered behind until he felt a tug against his sleeve. Although there was no one there doing it. The touch was only in his mind. 

-It’s fine. Really. Don’t worry about it-

~Do you think Leeteuk hyung will be okay?~

-Of course. He always is, isn’t he? Stop worrying about everything so much. You think too much...-

He could feel Heechul’s hands at his back, gently pushing him forward. Even though his brother was actually walking several feet in front of him. Those hands, firm and steady, keeping him grounded. He was sure if he didn’t have Heechul he would just float right out of this world and spend eternity drifting through that darkness. Just touching on thread after thread, moving in and out of different realities, different stories...

-You really do think too much. Just shut-up and drink some tea-

***

The walk back to Xiumin’s room felt like an eternity even though the hallway was short. Having his mind truly quiet, truly empty of either Heechul or Heemi, was somewhat unsettling now. He felt disconnected. Lonely again. He was reminded of being the only one left of his clan. The only Exo in the entire universe. And that realization was making his lower lip quiver. Knowing that everyone was gone and he was the only memory of his clan left. 

Heemi stopped and turned to look at him before they reached his door.

‘Xiu,’ he sighed, ‘What’s wrong? I thought you wanted us out of your head.’

‘I do. I mean I did. But now...’

‘What?’

He tried to keep his voice steady. He was a demon after all. He should have been stronger. He shouldn’t have been like this. But everything was taken from him once and then taken from him all over again and it was hard not to despair about it.

‘I don’t want to be alone...’ he said quietly.

Heemi paused in opening the door to Xiumin’s room. He seemed to be thinking for a moment. Then he took Xiumin by the wrist and lead him a different way. Xiumin obediently followed behind. Heemi took him to a different room and opened up the door. It was beautiful inside, the furniture ornately carved and lots of beautiful wall hangings and fine silks. Xiumin followed him inside and as the scent hit him he knew where he was. It smelled overwhelmingly like Heemi. That warm, familiar scent that he had breathed in when he had fallen against the older demon’s chest was now all around him. It smelled so good. So damned good.

It was that scent that eased his worry about being in Heemi (and essentially Heechul’s) bedroom. That scent that calmed him when he would have otherwise panicked as Heemi gestured for him to sit down on the bed. 

‘You can stay in here,’ Heemi offered, ‘Then you don’t have to be alone.’

‘What will you do?’ Xiumin asked, hesitating to sit down on the bed. 

‘I like to draw sometimes,’ Heemi said, ‘Or read a book. I could read to you if you want...’

Xiumin sat down slowly, keeping his eyes on Heemi as he did. 

‘Alright...’ he said.

He watched as the other demon went to retrieve a book from the shelf and came back. When Heemi sat down to the bed next to him Xiumin couldn’t help it as his back stiffened and he edged away slightly.

‘You don’t look very comfortable...’ Heemi said.

‘I’m fine.’

He inched backwards and leaned against the wall, feeling slightly more relaxed now that his back was covered. Heemi shrugged as he sat cross legged next to him and then he opened up the book and began to read.

It was a fairly uninteresting story in Xiumin’s opinion, but he appreciated the effort at least. Heemi even tried to change his voice for some of the different characters which made Xiumin smile ever so slightly. Honestly, such a strange demon...

After a few minutes he felt his eyelids fluttering. Though he’d slept a lot already, he’d gone through so much these last few days and his body was still recovering. It meant he felt sleepy much more easily than he was used to. He could feel his head sagging down as he tried to keep his heavy eyelids open and he wobbled slightly before jolting back upright again. Heemi noticed and stopped reading.

‘That really doesn’t look like a comfortable position,’ the elder mused, ‘Why don’t you come here? Rest your head.’

He patted his lap, gesturing for the other demon to lay down on it, but Xiumin flatly refused.

‘No,’ he said, ‘I’m fine. Just keep reading.’

‘You still don’t trust me, Xiu? You know I could have already done something to you ten times over by now, right? You’ve been unconscious, asleep, and immobile numerous times. You see those cuffs around your wrists? I could just pull you over here right now without even lifting a finger. But I won’t. Why won’t you understand that I’m not going to hurt you?’

Xiumin gave a little huff as he stared down at Heemi’s lap. It was tempting. He felt so sleepy and he hated nodding off sitting upright like this. And the older demon was right, wasn’t he? He hadn’t done anything to Xiumin, except try to help him, even though he had had plenty of opportunity to do some nasty things. But still... He wasn’t sure he could trust anyone ever again...

~Can I come in? Or do you still want me out of here too?~

No, it’s fine. You can do it. Just...don’t go any deeper than this.

~Alright~

Strangely enough, Xiumin felt slightly more at ease with Heemi back inside his head. Which also made him kind of embarrassed. He shouldn’t want demons sifting through his thoughts, able to just read his mind as they pleased, but somehow this was different. It was like he could feel comforting hands on him, even though they were still sitting apart.

~You’re still so sleepy. Why don’t you just lay down then? You can just lie next to me, if that’ll make you feel better.~

Xiumin hesitated for a moment, but he could already feel how heavy his head felt, how his eyelids wanted to close even now. So, he did as he was told, and lay down on the bed, curling up beside Heemi, his back to the wall.

Heemi went back to reading, and within seconds Xiumin felt his eyes close. He could still feel those hands on him, petting his head and back. Even though both of Heemi’s actual hands were on the book. He was surprised how calm he felt like this, how nice it was. And it only took a few minutes for him to fall asleep...

***

‘Lu, come on!’

Luhan’s face covered in blood.

‘Ungh, so fucking good...’

Ryeowook devouring him.

‘Caught you!’

Donghae’s hand going right through Kai’s stomach.

‘H-hyung...’

Kai’s saddened face, the moment he looked at Xiumin and knew he was going to die

That sound...

...that sound...

...that awful sound...

Donghae ripping out Kai’s spine.

‘What are you waiting for? Just do it...’

That woman. That poor woman. What was that in his mouth? What the fuck was in his mouth?

‘You’re nothing. Worthless. I could kill you right now and none of them would care. They would probably be happy to be rid of you.’

The one he loved so much, now the one torturing him.

The Shinki all surrounding him like that

***

‘No!’

Xiumin woke up with a start, feeling cold all over. As he looked around the room, heart beating fast and fangs bared, it took him a moment to realize where exactly he was. And who was sitting next to him.

~Xiu, Xiu, calm down. It was just a nightmare. Or, a lot of them seems like...~

He was still panting hard, his hands frosting over. Though the images in his mind weren’t real the surge of adrenaline they produced definitely was. 

~It’s okay. They’re not here. Just calm down and don’t turn into ice please~

He didn’t realize he was shaking. Suddenly the feeling of cold hit him, making him shiver even more. As the adrenaline began to fade it was replaced instead by a feeling of intense emptiness. He had relived his worst moments all at once and it had been overwhelming. 

He couldn’t help the sob that escaped him now. And even Heemi seemed surprised when Xiumin hugged him suddenly, holding onto the other demon tightly as he cried like a child. Everyone was gone. Everyone was gone and he was all alone and all he had left were horrible memories. He couldn’t even think of the good times anymore without those awful images popping into his brain instead.

He didn’t know what to do anymore. He didn’t know how to make it stop.

~It’s okay, you’re not alone. Don’t cry, Xiu. Shhh, don’t cry. You’re not alone...~

There was warmth all around him, trying to stop the chill his body was giving off. Though he kept his eyes closed tightly, trying in vain to stop his tears, he could still sense that dark smoke swirling around them. Heemi was trying to comfort him on both planes it seemed. But it wasn’t enough. He still felt so miserable.

~I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what my clan did. But things were bad even before that, weren’t they?~

Xiumin could only give a sad little ‘mm’ in response as he clung to the other demon.

~I think you should talk about it, when you’re ready. I think it would help to get those images out of your mind, if you let them go to someone else’s mind instead. I can help you~

I can’t...

~Shh, don’t think about it now. Just calm down first~

***

It took awhile for that to happen. But eventually his crying stopped and his body temperature returned to normal. They were both lying down on the bed now, his back still against the wall as he faced Heemi. He couldn’t look the other demon in the eyes though so instead he curled against the elder’s chest, breathing in his scent. It helped to calm him as much as the gentle hand stroking his hair did. 

Heemi hadn’t pressed him further to open up about his past as they lay there like this. Which was why he must have been surprised when Xiumin just started talking. He had decided not to give himself any time to think about it and back out. He was just going to go right into. Just get it off his chest and be done with it.

‘I don’t like eating,’ Xiumin said simply, ‘I’ve never liked it. But I know it’s just what we have to do to survive. Still...I used to try and put it off for as long as I could. Until I couldn’t stand it any longer. I thought I had it under control. But this one time...’

He trailed off, not sure if he could continue, but Heemi’s hands were in his hair and that warm smoke was all around them and his nose was filled with the other demon’s scent and for once it felt safe. Somehow he knew this was the only opportunity he’d have to try and rid himself of these memories. 

‘Show me,’ Heemi said softly, ‘It’s okay, let me see.’

Those hands felt so nice and that voice was soothing. It gave him the courage to dive backwards into his thoughts, to bring up the scene so he could show Heemi too.

***

He was so hungry. So. Damned. Hungry. He knew he had left it too long. He was so painfully hungry and he could feel his fangs inching down, just the smell of humans nearby making them protrude. He needed to eat something (you mean someone, right?) soon. He couldn’t stand it any longer. He wasn’t even sure of where he was going anymore, just wandering through the forest, feeling that gnawing hunger pain tearing at his insides. 

He needed someone soon. He had to bite into something or he felt like his whole body was going to tear apart at the seams. 

Need 

meat

blood

eat

And then there he was. Some man out hunting in the woods, wandering around like Xiumin was, but carrying a flimsy little bow and arrow. Xiumin knew that weapon would be no match for him.

He felt his fangs elongate, seemingly bigger than they’d ever felt before. And then the world seemed to fade away as he focused in on that human. All he could smell was his blood. He could practically hear it pulsing through the man’s veins all the way over here. He needed to feed. He needed to eat. He needed to rip and tear and devour until there was nothing left.

He heard himself growl at the thought of it and the human looked at him suddenly. And then everything went red.

Eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat

More more more more more more eat eat eat eat 

It was the scream that snapped him out of it. That horrible, blood-curdling wail that pierced through his frenzied brain and broke him out of his feeding spell. 

The sound of torment in that single scream. The sound of heartbreak. The sound of complete mental anguish. It was the single most awful thing he had ever heard.

Through the haze of red he could make out a woman a few feet away from him. She was kneeling over something on the ground, crying so hard her whole body seemed to be convulsing. What was she leaning over? What was that?

Slowly the haze began to lift. The red fading away as the world regained its usual colours. He was coming back to his senses now. The beast was disappearing back into his sub-consciousness as his own personality returned to him. 

The world felt real and sharp again. And suddenly he saw very clearly what the woman had been leaning over and was now cradling against her chest as she sobbed.

A body.

A tiny body.

A tiny, mangled, so very dead, body.

Through the blood covering it he could make out what was once probably an angelic little face, but now was only blank dead eyes staring back at him. 

His mouth suddenly felt very full. He went stiff, his jaw stopping mid-chew. 

No....

What was that?

Please no...

What was in his mouth?

Please gods, no

What the fuck was in his mouth?!

Xiumin pulled the object out and stared in horror at what he was now holding in front of him. 

An arm. A tiny arm with a tiny hand at the end, the flesh chewed down to the bone.

He threw it on the ground in a panic. 

No....

No no no...

He didn’t. Please say he didn’t.

But there was no mistaking it. The scene was all too clear. After he had eaten that man he still hadn’t been satisfied. The beast inside him had craved more. He had left it for too long, till he was almost starving, and he couldn’t control his appetite once he began to feed. And so he had eaten the next thing that came along without any hesitation. 

Except it wasn’t a ‘thing’. It was a child. It was someone’s child and he had ripped its arms off and started eating them.

He had torn that poor sweet thing to shreds.

Xiumin stared at the woman in shock, not knowing what else to do. His body felt both cold and hot all over, he could feel sweat forming on his brow as he began to shake. He was breathing rapidly, blood still dripping from his mouth.

A child’s blood...

The woman stared back at him. And the look in her eyes was the most painful thing Xiumin had ever seen in his whole existence. Those eyes bore into him. But not with anger or fear. There was only sadness in them. Sadness and...resignation.

‘What are you waiting for?’ she asked him, her voice choked, ‘Just do it.’

He didn’t say anything back. He couldn’t. He could only look at her, look at what he’d done. The little body in her arms was facing towards him, those blank eyes staring back at him. 

Look what you did. Look what you did. Look what you did.

‘What are you waiting for?!’ she asked again, her voice rising, ‘Just kill me already!’

But Xiumin didn’t move. Everything felt too heavy, like the world was slowly crushing him. Time itself seemed like it had stopped. He couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t say anything. Just stared at those cold lifeless eyes, like that of a dead fish.

‘Kill me...’ the woman repeated, ‘Please...’

She set the body down, so so gently, despite the fact it was only a bloody corpse now, and Xiumin’s heart wrenched. And then she walked towards him, holding out her arms, wrists up, trying to tempt him to feed again.

‘Kill me too please...’ she begged, tears running down her face, ‘They’re gone. They’re gone and I don’t want to be alone. Kill me. Eat me. Please...’

Xiumin stood up, but only to move away from her as she kept coming nearer. But she wouldn’t stop. She followed him back until she could get her hands on him. He thought she might attack him at that point, that she might have been feigning her death wish just to get revenge, and he wouldn’t have put up a fight at that moment, but all she did was fall to her knees in front of him. She held onto his shirt in her fists as she tilted her head, baring her neck.

‘Do it,’ she said, her face crumbling as the realization that she was about to die seemed to set in, ‘Just do it...’

She was shaking as she held him and through the smell of death and blood he could smell the unmistakable scent of fear. Even through all her anguish, she was still afraid to die. She was still afraid of him.

Look what you did.

She gazed up at him, broken, pitiful, and Xiumin couldn’t take it any longer. He pushed her away and then he turned and ran, ran as fast as he could into the woods, at a speed no human could follow. He was pretty sure no demon could at that point either.

He ran and ran until his body could take no more, until the air burned in his lungs and the taste of blood at the back of his throat was his own. He finally stopped and leaned against a tree, panting and gasping. Then he vomited up everything he had just eaten. That prompted another bout of running, to get away from it. 

The next time he stopped he collapsed on the ground. He didn’t remember passing out, but some time later he awoke in the dark. He didn’t rise from his spot, only curled in on himself as he cried.

‘Xiu! Xiu!’ 

It was Luhan’s voice, calling out for him in the distance.

‘Xiu, where are you? Please answer me!’

***

‘I don’t want to see him,’ Xiumin said, ‘Stop it here.’

He and Heemi were standing in that forest, watching the scene from Xiumin’s memory in front of them. It was just about to get to the part when Luhan had found him. When his brother had comforted him. But Xiumin couldn’t see that now. As painful as it was to go through that murder again, he knew it would be even worse to see Luhan. To watch his little brother holding him and know that he would never feel that touch again.

But the memory didn’t just freeze as he thought it would. Instead, the version of him lying on the ground just continued to cry as no one came to get him. Luhan’s voice didn’t call out again. Xiumin found it incredibly unnerving. It was as if he was doomed to stay like this forever, alone and distraught. 

But Heemi walked over to the Xiumin on the ground and kneeled down, looking at him with concern. He reached out and gently pet the crying Xiumin.

~I’m sorry. Don’t cry...~

Xiumin felt a sudden presence behind him. But Heemi was over with the other Xiumin. So then who was-

***

Xiumin jolted against Heemi as he came back to the real world. They were out of his memories now and back in Heemi and Heechul’s bedroom. Xiumin grimaced at the feeling of having to such a horrible experience. But Heemi’s arms wrapped around him warmly, calming him down.

~I’m sorry you had to go through that again. But...that’s not all of it, is it?~

‘No, it’s only the beginning. But...I can’t...’

~You can. Just take your time.~

Heemi’s hand was stroking his face and he knew he should have felt annoyed at being coddled like this, like some kind of pet, but at the moment the comfort was too tempting for him to resist. 

He knew Heemi was right. He could do it. And he needed to do it. He had to go through all of it if he wanted to be rid of it. He couldn’t stop halfway. But he was still scared. The murder of the child had been bad enough, but he could relive it if he had to. But the rest...

He tried to stop the awful things coming to mind. He didn’t want to see it just yet. But he knew if he kept waiting like this he was only going to lose his nerve and become panicked again. It was now or never.

Xiumin exhaled slowly, gathering himself. And then he began to speak about something he’d never spoken about to anyone before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter gets into even worse stuff. Sorry, Minseokie... ;_;


End file.
